[ImNotHere]

I was recently diagnosed AVPD. I was speaking to my therapist about one day wanting to feel comfortable in social situations, or any situations outside my house for that matter.

My therapist said that I may never feel comfortable around people and that was very disappointing to hear. Is there really no hope? Will I ever be normal? Am I ruined forever?

[A Red Panda]

No one is hopeless. You aren't ruined, and no one's really normal at all.

Maybe you'll never feel 100% comfortable, but you can certainly become MORE comfortable than you are now!

I'm boatloads more comfortable in lots of situations than I used to be. I taught myself how to talk and act in a way that feels relatively true to me, and I exposed myself to a lot of situations that make me really uncomfortable. Over time, and after throwing myself into things that I decided I wanted to be able to do... I can do them. And some of them still make me feel really awkward, but others I barely notice the anxiety unless something goes a bit off.

People even typically think I'm an extravert and very confident, which is a joke to me. I'm that way because I learned to, and it's not really representative of what I think and feel... but hey, I'll take it. I can function and can often enjoy myself to at least some level!

So I am sure that you can too. It just takes a lot of time and effort, and accepting that it just might never be easy.

[Ithilanar]

Of course you can get better! Personality disorders are about the way we think and perceive, and with the proper therapy we can change those ways, or at least improve on them. What a hopeless therapist you have.

[Hoasis]

Originally Posted by Ithilanar

Of course you can get better! Personality disorders are about the way we think and perceive, and with the proper therapy we can change those ways, or at least improve on them. What a hopeless therapist you have.

Don't want to be any kind of partypooper here but personality disorders are about exactly that; our personality. We cant change that, we can change however a little bit what we decide to focus on in stressfull situations, but it wont change the fact that our personalities are differing so much from the average that it makes us uncomfortable.
I have never heard of anyone with a personality disorder suddenly being 100 % "normal" after any treatment.

[Restin]

According to Relationship Therapy, the avoidance problem runs deep and goes way back. By having a relationship with the therapist, you address those deep, hurt feelings caused by relationship failures with parents or early caregivers. Out of the therapy relationship the feelings are healed to the core. It's a lot more than just learning how to act, or just going out and practicing at being sociable. With the deep healing, your feelings change and caring for others flows naturally from that.

I agree with Hoasis. I think in the case of insecure attachment and/or a personality disorder therapy can help you keep your head above water, but you'll always be floating in a deep ocean while people who are securely attached and without a PD will be standing on dry land. It rains on them, but rain stops. We will always be out at sea. Therapy or meds is more like someone throwing you a life-preserver than actually making it to dry land.

[Fuzzybear]

Your therapist was wrong. It happens... They are human and do not possess a crystal ball

Sorry to hear you crossed paths with a dud therapist.