Sudden realization

You realize that they changed the diagnosis criteria 2 years ago? They tightened the definition, and something like a third of people who had a diagnosis no longer qualify, so there's a pretty good chance you don't have it by the current guidelines. Same with Borderline - it could be that it took 10 years for the diagnosis because you didn't qualify under the old DSM, but now you do.

Why not try to live thinking you don't have a PD at all, if they can't tell you which one you have? Just assume you have poor coping skills, so learn new ones, and bad habits for dealing with people, again, learn new ones.

You say you don't like labels, but you're labeling yourself. Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you think, "oh, it's okay that I act this way because of my PD."

It takes time and effort and courage to change. If you don't have a diagnosis, don't decide you have one just because it's easier to continue to act the way you have rather than putting in the work to learn a better way.

I'm confused, I though this thread was about Nicky, why are we questioning Azul's diagnosis, what does that have to do with this topic?

The topic is, someone got a diagnosis and is fighting it, and a bunch of people talked about having similar experiences. Look through all the entries; lots people beside the first person talked about their struggles with accepting their diagnosis or lack there of. The thread became global rather than personal, and people gave feedback about each new example.

I think having a diagnosis can help clarify what's going on in your life. It can give you a starting point, and when you're confused and directionless it can be a comfort.

But if you don't have a diagnosis and decide you do anyway, or decide to ignore your doctor's diagnosis, then you are putting up a barrier to making any progress, because you're arbitrarily creating a false starting point. Instead of tackling your issues, first you have to tear away your misconceptions about yourself. I was trying to give suggestions on how to get unstuck from a false starting point so that work can begin.

I ask the same things of myself, too. Just today I asked someone (terrified of what the answer might be) if I use my diagnosis as a crutch.

Makes sense to me as I was also diagnosed with BPD but am more closely identifying with avoidant personality disorder