Struggling with anxiety

AzulOscuro · Sep 01, 2015, 03:32 PM

All my life coping with anxiety. So many psychologists that I can't remember the number.
I'm coming back to school and I would like to know why I find to do a normal activity, an activity that "normal" people do in an easier way, seems to me like jumping with a parachute.

After so many years of dealing with depressions, anxiety and avoidant behaviours. I would like to hear from a person this "I understand you" and not " I also have anxiety".

It seems that anxiety is now fashionable. But mine affects my daily life.

If a person would tell me "I feel bad, I've got a terrible headache", never came to my mind telling this person " Oh, I also have sometimes headaches". I would focuss on the person who is talking to me.
And forget about my issues for a moment.

I don't blame them. It's hard to understand psychological issues from the outside. They can't be measured.

I still remember how when I was talking to a coworker about my depression, she told me: I'm sure I won't be never affected for that.

I told her: I hope you won't.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I think I needed to put this out bc I'm nervous as hell. I know that I'm a person like any other and that I have my positive points but at these moments I feel like a failure.

A Red Panda · Sep 01, 2015, 05:31 PM

If someone says "I have anxiety too"... that IS them telling you that they understand. It's showing you that they have a much deeper understanding than just saying "I understand." Because they have just opened up to you, and shared their own.

Like...

If someone came up to me and was like "UGH! I'm having such horrible cramps!!" I'd be able to go "I understand that." because I know what they mean, and I've had some experience with it. However, I don't have a very rough menstruation cycle so I wouldn't be able to go "Oh I get that too!" because I don't.

If someone else came up to me and was like "AAUUGH I am having really terrible sleep!" I'd be able to go "Me too! My sleep patterns are royally messed up!" because I understand it more than just the feeling of being tired.

CrazyLo · Sep 01, 2015, 07:30 PM

I understand what you are saying. I think it seems like you want someone to just listen to you and empathize without distracting you with their own problems.

My anxiety affects my daily life as well. So I do understand you. It is incredibly hard for me to be around people. Jobs, school (especially school projects and presentations), and life in general. I'm only comfortable around those closest to me. I avoid a lot of things because of my anxiety. Important tasks can take me many months before I finally complete them.

So I understand. But everyone's anxiety and circumstances are different, so in that I way I have sympathy for you. I hope you enjoy school and work through the anxiety so that you can enjoy it.

Anyway, I'm about to write you an email. I'm sorry you're so stressed right now.

AzulOscuro · Sep 01, 2015, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

If someone says "I have anxiety too"... that IS them telling you that they understand. It's showing you that they have a much deeper understanding than just saying "I understand." Because they have just opened up to you, and shared their own.

Like...

If someone came up to me and was like "UGH! I'm having such horrible cramps!!" I'd be able to go "I understand that." because I know what they mean, and I've had some experience with it. However, I don't have a very rough menstruation cycle so I wouldn't be able to go "Oh I get that too!" because I don't.

If someone else came up to me and was like "AAUUGH I am having really terrible sleep!" I'd be able to go "Me too! My sleep patterns are royally messed up!" because I understand it more than just the feeling of being tired.

That makes sense now that I read it in your words.
I always missunderstand it. I tend to think that it's like the person was telling me "hey, I also cope with anxiety and I didn't say a word about it, I'm stronger than you". I'm being unfair, I know it. Obviously, they don't know I have a personality disorder. I neither want them to know it.

Thank you for your point of view. Hope you will have a good back to school.

AzulOscuro · Sep 01, 2015, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyLo

I understand what you are saying. I think it seems like you want someone to just listen to you and empathize without distracting you with their own problems.

My anxiety affects my daily life as well. So I do understand you. It is incredibly hard for me to be around people. Jobs, school (especially school projects and presentations), and life in general. I'm only comfortable around those closest to me. I avoid a lot of things because of my anxiety. Important tasks can take me many months before I finally complete them.

So I understand. But everyone's anxiety and circumstances are different, so in that I way I have sympathy for you. I hope you enjoy school and work through the anxiety so that you can enjoy it.

Thank you. I'm sure we will help each other.
Anyway, I'm about to write you an email. I'm sorry you're so stressed right now.

I can't feel anyone else's anxiety. I have all around me pretty favorable. My partner is being a great support and my coworkers are good as Heaven. I have so many positive people in my life.
I'm afraid of not being mgood for my kids because of my problems. Even when I know they want me, they don't want to have a sustitute. But, i'm so afraid of failing them.

CrazyLo · Sep 01, 2015, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I can't feel anyone else's anxiety. I have all around me pretty favorable. My partner is being a great support and my coworkers are good as Heaven. I have so many positive people in my life.
I'm afraid of not being mgood for my kids because of my problems. Even when I know they want me, they don't want to have a sustitute. But, i'm so afraid of failing them.

By kids, do you mean students?

AzulOscuro · Sep 02, 2015, 05:37 AM

Yeah. My learners are my kids. :-)

CrazyLo · Sep 02, 2015, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

Yeah. My learners are my kids. :-)

Awe, sweet. What age group do you teach?

When you are feeling bad about yourself, just think of your kids!

A Red Panda · Sep 02, 2015, 10:24 AM

I call my students my kids too, a lot of teachers do. They pretty much are for the year - we do spend all day with them!

I have a lot of the same anxieties in regards to letting my kids down. My T told me the other day that out of all the teachers he works with, I'm by far the most invested/focused on meeting their emotional needs.

AzulOscuro · Sep 03, 2015, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

I call my students my kids too, a lot of teachers do. They pretty much are for the year - we do spend all day with them!

I have a lot of the same anxieties in regards to letting my kids down. My T told me the other day that out of all the teachers he works with, I'm by far the most invested/focused on meeting their emotional needs.

Most of the time, when a kid's behaviour is not very good, they are trying to tell us, "hey, something is happening to me, i need someone to listen".