[rocco2017]

Hey everyone...

Are you interested in monitoring my depression recovery and possibly taking an active role in motivating me to stick to it and my promise to help others once I feel better. I am positive that we can all help ourselves... and if we can get organized... we can help each other.

I chose to stop taking all medication about 10 weeks ago. I have been on medication for about 2 years and have not felt like it helped me either way. In my opinion, medication exacerbates the symptoms of my bipolar. I think it can even be responsible for the condition itself. I'm not advocating for anyone to stop taking medication. Each time I switched medication or stopped it, I had a ton of side effects. In fact, the last time I stopped... I experienced euphoria... again. I felt I was talking to god, or some sort of spirit. This has never happened to me except as a result from stopping medication. Incidentally, I stopped my medication under the watchful eye of my psychiatrist... saw him once a week for the 8 weeks I spent battling the side effects. After a hypomanic episode... there is a period of normalcy... very brief... then depression. It has happened to me 3 times... most people tell me that is the condition. Bipolar. Up and down... manic depressive. Why didn't I have these symptoms for 44 years. My belief is medication can cause it. Again, don't stop taking your medication... but do try to take control of your own recovery.

I am 46 and I was diagnosed bipolar 2 years ago after having my first manic episode. I spent the first 44 years of my life fairly normal, most people felt I was an over achiever, ADD, constantly happy... optimist. Psychiatrists have told me its something called Hyperthymic Temperament. I never took medication in my life... never really had any type of depressive episode... just borderline hypomanic. I made a lot of money, and spent most of it... always wanted to help people. I was getting a divorce (tramautic event that can cause stress... been told that stress can cause the condition to appear.) I had a prostate infection that did not respond to antibiotics, so my General Practioner (not Psychiatrist) prescribed an antidepressant. He felt the stress caused the infection. This caused a manic episode... out of control euphoria, overspending, mood swings... very dangerous and out of control behavior. After 5 months I was hospitalized. As I came out of the episode I immediately went into a deep depression. I was suicidal for a time... 5 months later I was recovering... but that started the cycle of mood swings. About 6 months I spent recovering from depression... when things got going well, I eventually elevated... then got medicated again... eventually got depressed. Seems like they medicate you till you come out of it... then the meds take you up too high.. so they medicate you again the other way. A dangerous cycle. Yes I have been given mood stabilizers... nothing really works.

I want to break the cycle. I have read everything on the web that can possible help you and have decided that we are all in control of our emotional well being. Most professionals advocate a combination of medication and life style choices. I don't agree... and hopefully I will be able to prove this theory and help at least one person recover... ME. My goal would be to document this and help others in the future. It would be helpful to me to have someone monitor me... encourage me to document everything. I would love some feedback... eventually I want to start a blog.

I have my own company, 3 kids... a dog and some great friends that I tend to avoid when I'm depressed. My family is helpful, but I'm not sure they can encourage me as well as someone that suffers the same debilitating disorder... writing this right now helps. I feel if I can set this goal for myself, it can only work in my favor.

Currently my company is once again in financial disarray. My goal is to get control of it and put in some checks and balances. I need to delegate responsibility to others in case of any elevation or depression in the future... I know this is not proven, but it's my goal to get back to that stable and balanced me of 2 years ago. Once people are diagnosed and given the Bipolar label, they tend to follow orders... take meds... and live with the fact that they cannot be normal. I have yet to hear many permanent success stories. A few people seem to have beat depression... and live normal lives... not sure any have shared their method for getting healthy in a way that can be copied. I have taken advice from countless websites and books... right now, I am going to put them into practice. Any positive feedback will help.

Heading to my basement to work out. Exercise is a key. So far today, I have done all the dishes, stripped my bed sheets, started laundry, listened to music, danced, sang, and spoke out loud in a positive manner to myself. It helps to talk out loud and not feel so alone. I also cut up an apple, eating healthy is key. I put a fresh vanilla glade plug in for some aroma therapy. I have Pandora radio blasting... music from my past that seems to stimulate some fond old memories. I'm trying to shock myself out of depression... today is day 1. I will keep you posted as to how this works. I plan on trying to watch football with my son later today (socializing and normalizing)... so almost every aspect of a normal healthy life will be touched today. I want to do this each day until my mood is better, then seriously work on creating a consistent schedule that keeps me on an even keel. Wish me luck.

FYI, I write a lot... have written a few short stories, a few screenplays, countless letters, etc. When manic, the letters are huge... this is long, but short compared.. mood is depressed right now, but I'm pushing myself to work on getting healthy. I will also try to get most of my company work organized today...

Jeff

[Trippin2.0]

AD's are known to trigger mania in non-bp patients, not quite sure what they call it, so yes, I agree, the meds made you bipolar. Me? I quit my meds 1yr ago cold turkey, bcoz I missed my bipolar, its been a part of my life for so long, I doubt there was a time without. I'm doing very well thus far, managing mood cycles and episodes on my own, coupled with the moral support I receive from the friends I've made here. I would gladly walk alongside you on this journey Jeff

Ophelia

[BlueInanna]

Hi Jeff, and welcome. How is your process going? Hope all's well. I'm interested in a med-free approach, look forward to updates from you.