suggestions about non-supportive family

I was wondering if anyone has advice on how to deal w/ non-supportive family members (for example, what if they are in denial about illness). Does anyone know how to deal with the attitude of "Why don't you just pull out of it?" Is there anywhere on psychcentral that addresses this?

I was wondering because a lot of people I know who have bipolar or some other diagnonsis encounter this, but I haven't been able to find much info on how to deal with it. Maybe I'm not searching under the correct terms.

Any suggections would be much appriciated.

My family's idea of dealing with mental illness is to pretend it never happens and then watch people crash and burn. Then the person gets blamed for "letting it happen". I have heard the "pull yourself out of it" line so many times I could barf!

I am sorry that your family seems to be as unhelpful as mine.

I wish I knew the answer, just offering support and hugs if you like them.

I am finally getting to the point where I don't say it to myself! My diagnosis is fairly new and my entire life pattern has been to question why I can't just pull it all together and live a "normal" life.

I guess asking your family to read and learn right along with you will help them get it. My husband and I go to counselling together as well as separately so that we can be a united front in this.

I get this. I also get "I don't think you are bipolar..." all the time! Then I get "Oh- you're exhausted? Should I go with you to the doctor to hear why?" Total nasty sarcasm and telling me I'm basically a loser because I can't keep my eyes open during the day. Never allowed to be messy or make any mistakes nevermind have a manic phase. I just leave and disassociate, drink, spend money, get lost.... They think going from manic to depressed or having a mixed episode is a party.

My family blames every issue I have on the bipolar illness. If they think I can't handle something then it is the bipolar illness which is the cause. If the sun isn't out it is my bipolar illness causing it---!


Slick

Only 4 people know about my Bipolar besides me. The hubby, two good friends, and my psych NP.

I can't imagine the gigantic mess it would make if I actually told my family. I admire you folks that have been brave enough to let your families know.

I thought my mother MIGHT get a clue if I gave her some pamphlet's about BP. It worked for about 30 minutes. Her issue is... well, who knows! But she is the ultimate martyr and within a few breaths she was back to yelling at me and saying "I'd like to go with you to your dr if that's the case..." as if I was lying! If anything, she makes my BP worse. I am using every "coping skill" I have to get me through each day with her. Sometimes it just doesn't work. I've started having the maiming fantasies again- like I did back in late 2004. Of course, they just pass now, instead of intensify. Maybe its the lithium. Maybe its just me realizing what they are. My kids hate her. She thinks that if she buys or gives enough "stuff" that that justifies all the yelling, sarcasm, nastiness, ugly looks... I swear, I should document the faces she makes. She wouldn't do it in public-that should tell you something! Even my 7-year-old was talking about if he won a lot of money. My mom's husband says "you'll pay off our house?" and he says "No. I'll buy my own. Not give you any!"

I'm so sorry so many of us have trouble w/ this. I'm grateful for the response. I did some more searching and all I could find was this:
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar/2009/03/get-your-family-more-or-less-involved/
I kind of wanted to write a pamphlet for my peer to peer support group on how to deal with this since so many of them come to our meetings also have this problem with their family. I've sort of given up on my family & came to the conclusion that they aren't going to get it. A lot of the reason for their defensiveness is because back in the 1980s the psychiatrists blamed them for what was wrong w/ me. So I understand that for them there is a lot of pain surrounding the subject of my illness. Also I think my dad might have this disorder & my parents might be afraid to see it in him. My mother has gone looking into family history for a genetic link (Completely overlooking my father of course) & found some other relatives & ancestors who may be bipolar so things are getting better.

I just had to go through this recently with my family. In fact, I'm still going through it with one member in particular (my lil sis). Honestly, the only thing you really can do is sit back, cross your fingers, and hope to whomever that they will eventually come around. Or course, there are things you can do to make sure you are getting the help and support you do need, even if it's not coming from your family. Oh-and I would also advise seeing a psychchiatrist and getting an actual medical diagnoses from a medical professional if you haven't already. With that in hand, what more proof could they possibly need?
I'm rambling, but good luck with that. It's effin tough.