[BNLsMOM]

Tomorrow I go to the P-doc. This is my lon awaited appointment so that I can feel some stability.

Now I am nervous. I feel like this is my last day of freedom and tomorrow I will really have to face this thing for real.

And here's the other thing...I have been feeling well. Normal for several days now. I am afraid the p-doc will see a normal, functioning, happy person and not treat me.

I know this is silly, but when I am feeling well it is hard to describe how I am when I am not...

Does this make sense? It's like I almost wnat to be sick when I go to his office so that he can see what is going on and not have to rely on my hearsay.

Ack! Can't I even enjoy my healthy moments?

[In_The_Darkness]

Hugs

[rcsweep]

I felt the same way about taking the drugs, and even more after a long trial and error to get the right med. I've stablized for the fist time in years ( spent the better part of the last year rapid cycling)
there was times i thought i was well, but now with the right med I know i was't.
hang in there, Taking meds is not that bad, just remember it's all in your head

[Slothrop]

That's how it goes with the bipolar...feel crappy, then happy...

I know what you mean about "last day of drug free life." For most of my life I kept away from any kind of psychoactive drug, especially recreational ones. It was a strange feeling to start in with the antidepressants, then learn that I needed bipolar meds as well...

No regrets, because they have worked for me thus far.

Good luck, just give your doc all the honest details about what has been going on, and don't leave out the times you have felt your worst....

[Amazonmom]

When I am depressed, I am a very bad historian. The hypomanic me can't really focus long enough to remember what is important. The regular me is best at communicating this stuff. Maybe feeling a bit better will help you tell everything that needs to be told. Even though you can't remember how it feels to be up or down very well, maybe you can describe what you do in those states, or how others react to you.

I hope your appointment goes well!