[BNLsMOM]

Today is my first full day home from the hospital and I fee like nothing has changed in terms of my home life. I asked my husband if he could be home with me because I really needed him to just be with me today and he went to work. I had to take care of the kids, but he didn't do any laundry or dishes while I was in the hospital last week.
The hospital got me through the crisis, but I am still pretty depressed. I don't have the energy to come home and organize my home. I even had to help him put on clean sheets on the bed last night which is one thing I requested he do before I come home so that I could have that wonderful clean bed feeling.

He said he would work a short day and come right home after his morning meeting and without checking in with me to see how I was doing, he took on a client and he still isn't home after 5 p.m. He also told his parents he would go over to their house to do some things for them.

I made my needs known and I feel ignored, unloved and alone. I should have just stayed at the hospital.

[Amazonmom]

I'm sorry he didn't do anything while you were at the hospital...


Tell him that when he says one things and does another without telling you it's not fair. If he truly needs to change things he needs to call and tell you at the very least.

I hope you feel better soon.

[thinker22]

It's obvious that he's not dealing with the stress of the whole situation very well. Perhaps not doing things was his way of escaping having to face the reality of how serious your predicament was. Some people avoid when they feel overwhelmed. They say yes, but then they don't follow through. They work harder instead of coming home because it keeps them from having to see the far more difficult issue of relating to one's family members who, like them, are imperfect and in need of love, care and attention. Working/making money/hanging out with friends/clients is always easier than facing the ones closest to you, especially when they're hurting and you feel powerless to fix things (especially for a man).

When you're feeling a little bit better, I'd suggest you try to have a session together with your therapist (or another neutral one) where you can talk about each of your needs and how you can help each other to feel loved, respected, cared for. I don't think he was purposely being cruel and unthoughtful (but I don't know him), it just sounds like he's in denial about the extent of your depression and is escaping into his job, hoping the problems at home will go away, or at least he won't have to be around them. This is not good for you or him. And if you have kids, definitely not good for them. They need you both.

I hope you get to have a good talk together soon and in the mean time, I hope some of your meds and therapy will make you feel a little better.

[xxWant2Escapexx]

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

Today is my first full day home from the hospital and I fee like nothing has changed in terms of my home life. I asked my husband if he could be home with me because I really needed him to just be with me today and he went to work. I had to take care of the kids, but he didn't do any laundry or dishes while I was in the hospital last week.
The hospital got me through the crisis, but I am still pretty depressed. I don't have the energy to come home and organize my home. I even had to help him put on clean sheets on the bed last night which is one thing I requested he do before I come home so that I could have that wonderful clean bed feeling.

He said he would work a short day and come right home after his morning meeting and without checking in with me to see how I was doing, he took on a client and he still isn't home after 5 p.m. He also told his parents he would go over to their house to do some things for them.

I made my needs known and I feel ignored, unloved and alone. I should have just stayed at the hospital.

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling.I have been there too.My ex husband i think (or at least i tried to tell myself this is the way it was) tried to do things to help me at home my first day but it was my mom who really kept things together for me.Yes,i am 38 and i still am very lucky to say my mom is alive and amazing....that makes me one very lucky chic.My kids were completely unable to "get it".....i had a 15yr old boy,10 yr old girl and 4 yr old girl.Now,actually 3 yrs later,my now 18yr old has cut me out of his life due to me being sick then...but thats another story.Do you have any close family members who could maybe pitch in for awhile til you get back on track....a sister or mom,or maybe a best friend??? Just hang in there ok.....hopefully when everything kicks in(meds,therapy....) like the other poster above me said,everything will start to look and feel better.Hugs to you.....