[jai-jai]

The feeling won't go

After last night, i feel more and more erratic, i can't concentrate on anything, im useless....im shaking i feel pain but i like that pain
its the hell that makes me feel safe.

How wrong does that sound?? not knowing what im going to do or say next make myself on edge.
he want to talk about it tomorrow when he see's me.....but talking about it is going to be worse than the hell....i dont see the point i just hurts...

feeling this excitment and this mania i relapsed, a trigger, it caught me, swallowed me whole, and ate my soul it spat that out and now its in a box just terrified of everything.

What am i ment to do now....im all over the place and i can't get out!

[amaviena]

go to the hospital. be safe.

[thinker22]

Jai jai, I read your reply to the other post. If you can't get a hold of anyone for help like a psychiatrist or therapist and you are SIing or thinking about it, please go to a hospital emergency room. I know you don't want to leave your home, so if you can't, please call 1-800-SUICIDE or 911. If you don't feel you are a harm to yourself that's one thing, but if you are having peculiar or destructive thoughts, please get a hold of someone who can help you. Don't give up, okay. And please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are getting help. This is a temporary feeling and not worth it to self harm. We care about you. Take care of yourself or call someone who can.

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by thinker22

Jai jai, I read your reply to the other post. If you can't get a hold of anyone for help like a psychiatrist or therapist and you are SIing or thinking about it, please go to a hospital emergency room. I know you don't want to leave your home, so if you can't, please call 1-800-SUICIDE or 911. If you don't feel you are a harm to yourself that's one thing, but if you are having peculiar or destructive thoughts, please get a hold of someone who can help you. Don't give up, okay. And please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are getting help. This is a temporary feeling and not worth it to self harm. We care about you. Take care of yourself or call someone who can.

Yes, I was having these thoughts last week because I was on a med that wasn't working right. I ended up going to the ER and although it was frightening for a while, I was admitted to the ward and felt safe because there were people who could help me and give me a new med. Please don't hurt yourself. Call 911.