[BNLsMOM]

I think I am feeling a switch now that I am taking some Klonopin. I thought its purpose was to calm me down. I feel like it is helping the anxiety which maybe was leading to my irritability, but I am typing and doing so much online in another community that I feel could be on the verge of offensive and I have a feeling I am about to be either kicked out or it ir crowned for my opinions.

I am so confused. At least I have an appointment with my p-doc coming up the day after his vacation. Less than two weeks and maybe I can figure out what is going on with me and get some relief...

Happy, sad, mad, anxious, happy sad, mad anxious....It is so freaking tiring!

[thinker22]

Sorry, never been on it. Wish I could help. My brain is going a mile a minute and I've been trying to balance all my checkbooks since 2004!

Yeah, line by line, but I'm not tired or bored. I'm determined to win, like it's some sort of a game, but now I have to go do my vision exercises and I've probably ruined my eyes for the past 5 hours I've been doing this.

I need an appt too when my therapist gets back from vacation! Madness!!

[jattitude]

I have been taking klonopin for a while to take the edge off so I can sleep. It works well for me, I guess everyone is different, could it one of your other meds making you feel this way?

[BNLsMOM]

It could certainly be my Trileptal that isn't working. My p-doc reduced my dose because of side effects, and I have become increasingly angry anxious and switching within hours to depressed and crying. Right now I feel hyped up. Last night I took 1 mg of Klonopin and my Trileptal before bed and I felt like my body was vibrating. The Klonopin helps me get to sleep though, but it seems like the minute I took it yesterday I started talking a mile a minute. The elevated moods never last long before a major outburst and then major depression and shame sets in. 11 more days till my appointment. I will stay safe and will do what I have to do to stay that way until then.

[amaviena]

I take it under my tongue so it works faster. maybe you need more than your prescribed dose. should NOT make you manic. even you out, but not manic. its a low grade mood stabilizer. When I feel like fudge my doctor always says take two klonopin and call me in the morning and I nearly always feel a tiny bit better.

[paddym22]

I am prescribed klonopin when I am in a hypomanic stage to act as an intermediary until the anti manic drugs kick in. I must say it works very well for me. Just dont abuse it coz then it loses its power and hypomania is possible.

Take Care

Paddy

[thinker22]

Maybe I should be on Klonopin. Sorry to always be thinking about me. I'm just worried this intensely energetic mood can't last. I really need a professional and a mood stabilizer right now! Love you guys.

[BNLsMOM]

Maybe I am just switching on my own and the Klonopin is keeping somewhat at bay. It is definitely an irritated mania and the victim of my mania is the leader of another health and wellness board who is telling people what and how to think. Grr. I hate that.

Anyway, it seems like I don't lost my mind at home as long as I maintain .5mg twice a day and 1 mg to sleep but I forgot my afternoon .5 mg yesterday and I was so upset. I was going off on things which is very unlike me. I was fearful and shaky and verycombative on that other message board. I am surprised I didn't get kicked off, but I kink of want to poke the bear because I think I am leaving it anyway.

10 days till I see my p-doc. I hope I can describe accurately what is going on with me. I am still sleeping 10-12 hours and haven't had a shower in 3 days (yuck) but I have been obsessed and combative and getting into online drama like a rebellious child. I am 35. I have all but quit my business, but everyone thinks I am just taking time off. I have no clients anyway right now.
I am not suicidal, thankfully, but I am swirling the drain and I feel something majorly bad coming on. I want to scream but I don't dare, and instead of running away I am holding my ground but my arguments don't make sense. I can't make a decision about even the simplest things, and I went all day yesterday after breakfast without eating because I couldn't decide what to eat. I finally took some leftover Chinese food at 7pm. It feels better than deep depression, but I am still unbelievable impaired. I think my family and I are going to the beach today so maybe I can just chill or bake in the sun.

[leahcim]

I know several people that have taken it or are currently taking it to "reduce" hypomania and are having success with it.

Also, I checked my "pill" book and hypomania is not listed as a possible side effect. However, it does say that rare side effects may occur and to consult a physician if they appear. *I guess they really covered all the bases there*.

Hoping that you have better days ahead.

[BNLsMOM]

Yeah, every time I call a p-doc, they say, take more Klonopin. I feel so tweaky.

[thinker22]

I'm no doc, but it doesn't sound like you're on the right combo for you yet or maybe just the dosage is wrong. Like, because you were in such bad shape before, they gave you high doses of everything, but now you could probably back off of some of them and feel a little more stable. Perhaps that's what your p-doc is planning on doing at your next meeting.

Hope you can hold on for another 10 days. Wishing you the best. And do keep calling your people even if you think they're getting annoyed. I'm always worried about that with friends and emailing therapists. I'm pretty long winded when I write, as you can see. They have one line responses like, "Sorry to hear that. How's Thursday next week." Hehe, but not like I expected them to work when I'm not in front of them. I just want to update them and see if anything is serious enough to seek help.

You have to take care of you first. Don't forget that. It's not selfish. It may mean solitude in nature; it may mean journaling or something else. Once you're better and stable, you can work on other things. I beat myself up over not being able to write like I used to...or in fact do much of anything except for come online and eat. I used to be so accomplished, but apparently my brain's taking a vacation, with or without me and I have to give it space to heal. Think of the (silly, sorry) broken leg that has to be stabilized with a cast, then needs time to heal. No one says, get off of your crutches and mow the lawn, you're so lazy. That would be dumb. But we say **** like that to ourselves. Yes, I'm not accomplishing what I'd like to do, but I am accomplishing what I NEED to do...and that's getting well. And I hope you'll be able to see it that way too and forgive yourself for not doing your regular "duties," while in this state. If you can't, you just can't.

[BNLsMOM]

Thank you for understanding.