[Diann]

my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar three years ago and we have been getting help ever since then. He is on meds also. I see a theripist on my own also to try and help myself with all of his issues and mine too. Is it normal for a person with Bipolar to have a sexual drive that cannot be satisfied? I try so hard, but he still does things that are hurting our marriage.

[dogtanian]

i don't know what to say but ((diann)) ..... i'm sure you'll get some great replies on here, even if mine is pointless xx

[Diann]

Thank you for answering, I like the quote. Try this one,
"Trapped in a world of knowledge but knowing nothing but pain"

[darkeyes]

Yes, excuse this term but it is a common feature of Bipolar during mania/manic episode.
I have never been fortunate to have much of any sex drive, may be due to me being more depressive than manic, I am DXed with Bipolar-II (mild) that may be another factor.
But yes, even in many books on Bipolar state that during manic episodes people may have a stronger sex drive, feeling more attractive, buying stuff, clothes, shoes, etc.
some sprees put many into debt.
Your therapist should be able to give you info on this, but my answer to this is "yes".
Hope this helps answer or give you insight to your question.

Take care now,

DE

my bi=polar meds are working with me and if i had a complaint, it would be that i have no sexual desire whatsoever. i do not like that.......i am going to talk to psych doc about it..but i doubt that anything can be done about it...i don't how to answer your question and i definitely don't understand your poll question> can you enlighten me??? pat

[darkeyes]

Yeah, I forgot to ask Diann what that means?
Please tell us Diann.
Take care everyone,

DE

[darkeyes]

Fay, I know doesn't it suck? Hormones worked for me but the cancer risk scared me too much. Soooooooo, I'm not a sexual woman, (like a nun) but I can still love, that is my response to my husband that once was so full of drive, I hated it, he reminded me of a male dog in heat, ha!ha!
Just my 2 cents, kids

DE

(((((((((( all that come here )))))))))))))

[Diann]

sorry about that, I'm new to this site and must have screwed up some where in the effort to make a profile, lol. I say Sorry to all of you for the mess up.

[darkeyes]

No apologies "required", I'm still not up on all the options computerwise . . . I suffer from computer illiteracy, ha!ha!

Take care,

DE

[litobes]

Diann, I understand exactly what you are going through becuase I can relate. My husband is BP and the lashes and the hurtful things stick and are very hard to overlook simply becuase he is ill. I try very hard not to take personal, sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's not, but I'm reading this book that helps and maybe it might help you and/or help you feel some peace....."loving someone who has Bipolar" it's a great book and I think you will enjoy it.

Hang in there, that's all in of us can do....:-)

[h0kie]

Diann, you mentioned in your other post that you wished you had a place to go for face to face support.

Have you contacted NAMI? The one here has a monthly support group meeting as well as a 12 week class for families of people with mental illnesses. Both I think would help you. There are chapters all over.

Hope this info helps.

[darkeyes]

That's a great idea, at my pdoc's office's waiting room, they have brochures on NAMI, and it is good.
Pdoc. reccommended (sp?) and the website is helpful.
I wish you all lots of luck with this, I know it is a hard thing and I'm sending you many of hugs of support.

((((( for all those that have entered this forum ))))))

Sincerely,

DE

[sqrlb8]

Hi Diann,

I'm bipolar, and while I never really associated my sex drive with that, there does seem to be a consensus that mania escalates the sex drive and often leads to some promiscuous misadventures. But wherever his sex drive comes from, at least from my own experience and other anecdotal accounts I know, the meds will all but erase it within a year or so. I'm not trying to make a joke so much as point out something that is a real issue for bp sufferers. There are many many unpleasant features to most meds. All of them cause a patient to reconsider their neccessity. And no side effect is more compelling to a man than the loss of sexual desire and function. Even if I could have tolerated the other side effects, that one alone is enough for me to never touch them again. It's something that is going to weigh heavily in the lifelong process of recovery your husband faces, and in what it means for you to endure in a healthy way for yourself.

So I guess I'm not really offering suggestions as much as I am acknowledging the reality of the issue. tc.

[Ganesha]

Diann
My mother was BP and I was the object of her manic anger.
I could do no right.

When she was manic she had an unquenchable hunger for sex.
Her brothers and sisters seemed like they sexualized everything.
I grew up in an atmosphere of molestation as well.
All that hyper-sexuality had to go somewhere.
(I have gotten lots of good therapy.)
My poor father watched as my mother flirted, invited men home, ran off with men and finally had affairs in the hospital.
She was a busy woman.
He stayed through it all.
Just before he died she was courting a new boyfriend. It never ended.
Practically on his deathbed he threatened to divorce her.
She decided from her room in the mental ward that he was already dead.
He died shortly after this.

My dad stayed loving and steady through all the years.
It was his nature and he loved my mother so much.

Her desire was not in her control nor could she stay faithful...
when the new meds would kick in, and her depression well on its way, she was so very sorry for all the damage she did while manic.
After doing ECT she might not remember but she knew by looking at our sad faces that something had happened.
She had a breakdown almost every year of my life till I hit my middle 20's.

I think mates who deal with BP partners are super special people.
NAMI helped me a great deal.
they are good folks.
They are my neighbors and friends.
None of us get through this life without some struggle and pain.

Dianne my heart goes out to you.
I know I felt better having people to talk to about all these issues.
As a child I felt so alienated and alone.
The community just didn't know how to help.
I kept too many secrets and didn't know how to reach out.

This is a different time and there's so much out there for you to consider.

I will check in for updates on how things are going.
Ganesha

[sqrlb8]

Breathtakingly Beautiful.

[Jeannie]

Dear Diann,

My husband is also bipolar and has probably been that way for most of his life. I have been with him for 11 years. I just found help for him about 4 years ago. Living with someone who is bipolar can be tormenting,it is difficult to cope with the moodiness and outbursts of anger and fits of rage. They have periods of being on a "high" and then back down to a sudden drop with depression and etc. I sympathize with you greatly. My husband was put on Effexor XR and has done so well on it. I stood by him and now we are on our way to mending our marriage to the way a loving marriage should be. Good luck and write back if you wish to talk to me. I would love to have someone to talk to who can relate to this. Thanks!