Up, down and all around!!!

I have a hard time letting things go and can last for hours, day, weeks, or months. The worst part of this issue, I seem to tell everyone what I am going thru! I go over the same issue, over and over and over again.

These issues can be little things that set me off or are major blow outs when I am paranoid, angry, and finally depressed.

Here is one example of a major occurrence that set me off for several months. My boyfriends family wanted to plan a surprise party for him and didn’t discuss this with me, I was told that they have already started and need $200.00 and I will pay for the food.

I sat for awhile and held it in; I really wanted to tell them off. The party was in December and this was August. You probably know what is going to happen. I ruined the surprise and gave him an ultimatum, either me or his family or me!

Every time I had a chance, I would let him know just how I feel and the argument would go on for hours and days, than stop. It was we were at the circus and I was the show.

Finally his birthday came up it had been several months later when, I totally ruined it; I went off on his friends and his family, I made a total Jackxx of myself but for that whole weekend I would not let it go, afterwards I started feeling terrible and my mania was out of control out was out of control. I had so many ups and downs. I was self destructive and could not function at work.

I tried to reach out to my friends and my boyfriend but their advice was annoying, they would say comments like this, “to settle down and get a hobby”. “I would respond I cant settle down settle down, it’s not about having a hobby, I am suffering from bipolar and now this gets good, there is no such thing and it all in my head I can’t let things bug me.

My point to this long winded story, how can I prevent this rage and paranoia and the constant feeling like I am always doing something wrong? I need to learn to have a filter and stop thinking everyone is out to get me and expressing those feeling to anyone who will listen.

When you get the correct medication in the correct amounts, I think that you will be surprised at how much better your self control will be.

Is this is a normal symptoms I am experiencing.

Hello Pamela Choi

I highly recommend that you purchase this book:

"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using Dbt to Regain Control Of Your Emotions and Your Life" by Sheri Van Dijk

Some of your reasoning skills are emotionally based and not from a wise mind. If you read the book you will understand how to control your emotions and not react to situations and people based on emotions.

Take Care,

Zen888

Normal? No, but I've been known to do it and yes, it did start to be less of a problm when I had the right meds.
"No such thing?" They've never met me, aparently