[NuckingFutz]

I was seeing the same pdoc for 10 years. Somewhere near the end I found I had all this energy and decided to go for a walk, but that just wasn't enough. Went into my grocery store...the lights looked unusually bright and thought I could get away with anything. I ended up attepting to steal $138.40 worth of groceries. I got caught. Nother customer saw me. Went to jail. Got out on a recogicence bond. Decided I just kinda didn't do it right and about a year later did the same thing again. I got caught. During the time I was in the second time, I was on a too low dose of lithium. So what happens? They run out, so I don't get any. I don't get my benzo's of course because they are narcotics. So all I got was my cymbalta. I slept maybe an hour a night. The first night I got up to go to the bathroom and the room started to spin. I had never experienced this before, I barely made it back to bed and everyone woke up because I knocked over a table...finally a human guard came and took me to the infirmary. My blood pressure was sky high. The nurse told me so and I saw it. I said, it's always been that way in the pdoc's office and they just tell me their equipment is off...lovely, huh? So they I get appointed a lawyer 3 days later. I love her, she's great. She set me up with the mental health liason since I chose probation (2 years!). They have a special program for us mentally ill folk. I just wanted out of there. I was dizzy and couldn't sleep well. I told my atty about them not having my meds...she was steaming mad about that...but I guess not too much because they didn't give me my lithum until a bout a week later. While I was incarerated with this "women", I noticed a higher than average pregnancy rate that the general population. I was not curious enough to ask. Also during rec time in the "yard", there is more business going on out there than in most board rooms of major corporations. I learned there is a street drug called special K which is a horse tranq that is now sold on the streets. Everyone was bragging about how their dealer was better than other dealers. Saw some moms that would get out of jail, get pregnant and then go back in. Lovely lifestyle. While I was in the doctors office, a police officer asked me why I just didn't put my head down when I got dizzy...I was standing up when it initially happened. I wanted to punch him in the face! Finally, my court day arrives and I am approved for the probation for the mentally ill. I was given release papers and told that I would be realeased that evenening. Guess what didn't happen that evening, or the next or the next? You know the court system is messed up when you get a message from a guard that your probation officer is mad because you didn't show up to probation that next day (I wrote back and told her I was still being detained and to cool her heels. Never tell a probation officer to cool her heels. Anyway, 3 days later my attorney calls me to appologise and say that my "cause number" was transposed and someone else got out under my name. I told her I hoped it wasn't a murderer. So I got to spend 3 extra days in jail because some stupid court clerk has dyslexia?! I finally get out. My probation offer tells me not to telll my mental health clinic I am a verteran (teaching me morals already huh?). I was asked directly if I was a verteran and so I couldn't lie. That day, I was cut off meds, taken out of there system and told I don't qualify for their program. I have been telling them for 10 years that I am a verteran and now all of a sudden it matters?! They said it always matters but some of the care providers don't care. Sometimes I think the only reason the county mental health system exists, is to medicate the homeless and low income population so they don't bother the other fine, upstanding citizens of this fair city. My PO turned out to be a real beotch. She would move appointments around and blame them on you. I learned early on to carry that written appoint slip with me...I finally caught her and she looked at the slip in her own handwriting like it was written in greek, but she couldn't deny I was complying. I was so glad to get the hell off of probation. I've never met so many evil people in my life. Fortunately, I was qualified for the VA health benefits. I told my doc what I was on and she was shocked. She said the reason I went manic is that YOU CANNOT TAKE IBPROFIN WITH LITHIUM, IT CONCENTRATES IT AND THEREFORE RENDERS IT INEFFECTIVE. So basically, I went to jail because I am mentally ill. My mom wanted to put me in a home. She's nuttier than me. She can go suck a wet one as far as I am concerned. Well, that is my lovely story of how I was rediagnosed. Please excuse the rant. I want to blog but still waiting on DocJohn's approval.

[perpetuallysad]

Wow, that's an amazing story. I'm confused why you got kicked out of the system because you are a vet? Is that because they would rather you go through the va or something? Sounds like a bunch of **** to me. Ug, I am pretty sure I would completely lose what little is left of my mind if I went to jail. You are so strong.

[NuckingFutz]

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

Wow, that's an amazing story. I'm confused why you got kicked out of the system because you are a vet? Is that because they would rather you go through the va or something? Sounds like a bunch of **** to me. Ug, I am pretty sure I would completely lose what little is left of my mind if I went to jail. You are so strong.

It's the money. The housing for regular folks is paid for off a grant from the State. The money for VA housing is paid out of Federal money. Thanks for the response...you are a brave soul yourself for reading all that stuff. That was like over 2 years ago and I've never talked about it, never written it down. Never "processed" it so I guess this is it. I just thought there were so many ironies in it. Instead of a psych facility I end up in jail even though they have my psych records. I read somewhere that there were more mentally ill people in prisons than there are in psychiatric institutions. That the problem that cause me to be manic and shoplift was due to not being on enough meds, so when I go to jail what happens, they take me off the very med that caused all the problems. Did I learn anything? Yeah, lots of pregnant women. Most of their due to drug offenses (boy did I get an earful). That murders still have an interest in coloring. And that the clerks need to pay a little more attention to those cause numbers. Sigh

[Anneinside]

I have a nephew who has schizophrenia and was driving drunk. He refused to pull over when stopped by the police and when he finally stopped he ran on foot. He also refused to take the breathalizer test. When he went to court he was found unable to assist in his own defense and was hospitalized. After he got out he had to go back to court and they found him guilty of a felony. He is currently in prison for 8 months. Having mental illness may contribute to why you commit a crime but it is not a legal "get out of jail free" defense.

[NuckingFutz]

No, you are right, a crime committed by a person with an MI is not entitled to a get out of jail free card. I pled no contest, I did my time and was as compliant as I could possibly be. I guess I was not being responsible and this is a major event in my life. I can see now that this post really doesn't belong on here. Perhaps the best thing to do is to cut & paste it in my journal & be done with it. Sorry guys.

[Anneinside]

NuckingFutz, please don't feel like you need to remove this post. It is fine that it is here... mental health and incarceration is an important issue. I wasn't intending to be critical of you.

[perpetuallysad]

I appreciate the honesty it took for you to write all that out. There are a lot of things in my life that I can not even be honest with myself about. I have to reiterate that you are very brave and I am glad you felt safe enough here to talk about that stuff.

And no, MI isn't a get out of jail free card, but it is something that needs to seriously be considered in where you place the individual. Considering that NF plead no contest, she should have been put in a psych facility and gotten her meds straightened out. Putting her in jail did nothing for her and changed nothing about her illness. Just my opinion.

[NuckingFutz]

Lets keep the dialog open & keep exchanging ideas. Did my time, no problem. My whole entire issue was the extra time I did with no known release date without the proper meds. My attorney had closed my case thinking I had gotten out. I have no family in the city I lived in. I had a 19 year old cat at home who was getting really hungry. My friends all had cell phones that did not take collect calls. My atty did not even take collect calls. Do you know what it feels like to suddenly be taken off your meds for 11 days? Do you know what it is like to come home to a starved cat? Do you know what it feels like to fight to stay free when your mother does not understand bipolar & wants to put you away? I did not serve my country to be treated this way. I only want the same rights you have. I have never opened up this much before. A simple hug would have worked.

[perpetuallysad]

(((NuckingFutz)))

[Anneinside]

You were treated horribly by the system. It is understandable that you could be angry and frustrated with the system. Best wishes to you, I hope things are easier now.

[NuckingFutz]

Yes things are easier now. My gripe is that I fought in Desert Storm. We gave it 100% and some gave their lives so others could have rights. What good is it if the justice system does a half *** job on ensuring those rights are guaranteed like the Constitution says? I love my country, it let me down I felt safe enough in here to finally open up enough to post. The negative emotions were just venting. If we do not speak out, we could be wearing burkas and speaking Farci. So check out my profile sometime it explains me a lot better. No harm done, my tears are dry and I will be posting stuff as it comes up. Thanks for your feedback.

[Trying & Caring]

Mental illnesses are misunderstood & mistreated in a lot of cases. Proper treatment is hard to get, but keep searching...

[Rebound]

Psychiatric care takes such a back seat to corporeal medicine in funding decisions, the entire system is broken.

I'm sorry to hear about this. I have great respect for anyone willing to serve in the armed forces. After what you have done, they should be clamoring to help you.

[NuckingFutz]

I do not think the folks back home who work to carry out great laws we have, fully realize how important their role is in keeping our rights and our freedoms working. The domestic side and the military side have to both do their best or America will not work.