[Vampi]

My name is Vampi and I lost my job after having a nervous breakdown in 1999, and was hospitalized for suicidal tendencies about 5 months later. Up until that time, I had been on one anti-depressant after another, being diagnosed as chronically depressed. After the hospital stay and seeing specialists, I was then diagnosed with bipolar type 2 along with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety disorder.

Looking back, I think I may have had bipolar disorder since being a child. I stole constantly and was a pathological liar... not to mention the hypersexuality. Then again, that could have just been the consequences of molestation over a period of years.

This past Tuesday, I had my first auditory hallucination. I woke up in a foul mood and it progressed into a fine rage. While sitting at the table, I had thoughts racing through my head when all of a sudden there was such a horribly evil voice in my head just telling me to DO IT, SMASH IT. Needless to say, it scared the crap out of me. Since then, the doc has added Abilify 5mg to my Prozac 40mg and Remeron 45mg. I'm still waiting to have a good nights sleep

Not really sure if this post could trigger anyone, but just in case... thanks

[gravyyy]

Yuck Vampi... Auditory hallucinations are no good. I have never personally dealt with them but I have been around and worked with people who did have them. I have seen things but never lost touch with reality so I'm not willing to call it a hallucination. I realized they weren't real. It was just a vision.. like a vivid imagination. "Psychotic features" are common in bipolar disorder especially when you're cycling.... not sure what your mood is like but sometimes people start hearing or seeing things right before or right in the middle of an episode (either hypomanic or depressed). Abilify is a good medication but I had bad anxiety from it when it was increased to 10mg. If it doesn't help the hallucinations, talk to your doc because there are better meds to treat those symptoms (anti-psychotic medications). Hang in there and keep track of what's happening so if it happens in the future you can know what coming up. Take good care!!!!

[poisonivy81]

I'm sorry to hear all that has happened to you. You MUST be stronger because of it all because you are still here. I've had 3 nervous breakdowns, and they really do suck and make you feel helpless. Hang in there, it will get better. I know cause we are on the same meds...LOL

[Vampi]

Thanks, Gravy I told the doc that I'm not sure it was a hallucination... it wasn't like it was whispered in my ear, but I had thoughts racing around and all of a sudden there's a voice that wasn't mine... I've never had it happen before, so I still hesitate to call it a hallucination and the doc wasn't really clear on it.

I've been on Abilify for 2 days and I've had maybe 4 hours of sleep since then. I've been manic for about a year now with some mixed episodes here and there due to ultra-rapid cycling. If I haven't gotten *some* sleep within the next week, I can't see how I can stay on Abilify

[Vampi]

Thanks, poisonivy I do believe I'm stronger... a lot stronger than before. I'm armed with knowledge now and am more aware of my moods and triggers and such. It doesn't stop it from being overwhelming at times, but it does help.

Are you on Abilify, too? Have you had any problems with sleeping?