[Giabrina]

I tried being positive, happy and upbeat instead of sad, depressed and mad.

I tried so many meds that I lost count of all them.

I tried hospitalization.

I tried electric shock therapy.

I tried several different doctors.

I tried reaching out to others.

I tried supporting others.

I tried helping others hoping that would make me feel better.

I tried.

I'm tired of trying.

There's nothing left to try.

I'm tired of trying and having nothing work.

[Junerain]

I know the feeling, of trying...and trying..

I do not know the answer for you, it's different for everyone..

I just wanted to let you know you are HEARD...and UNDERSTOOD

[KJDlost]

My daughter has expressed the same feelings as you have. I know she is frustrated and discouraged. She is not currently on this site, but I will suggest it to her for I know she feels she is the only one but I believe there is encouragement here. Hang in there. There are people who care.

[perpetuallysad]

I hate the feelings you are describing. I go through the same thing all the time, like i said to someone else today, its this terrible circular thinking that I cannot break out of. Don't give up though.

Giabrina.... that is so frustrating. But just to let you know, I've been reading your posts and have felt an affinity -- we're about the same age (both Decembers too!) --and am sorry that you are feeling this way, and hope it can change for the better for you. And soon. In the meanwhile... Sometimes it really sucks, but we're all in it together...

[Fire_Star]

Totally understand, I feel this way regularly. But hang in there - there's a world of cupcakes and butterflies out there! A colourful world for us to explore and find something that brings the joy back is around somewhere when you wait.

[Giabrina]

Originally Posted by Fire_Star

Totally understand, I feel this way regularly. But hang in there - there's a world of cupcakes and butterflies out there! A colourful world for us to explore and find something that brings the joy back is around somewhere when you wait.

thank you everyone who replied! I am doing so much better, and I really thought it would never be possible! Last night, 1/20/10, I had a very bright, colorful dream. There was lots of dancing, costumes and art in my dream. I am not really into art/costumes/dancing, although I do like to dance. But the dream was really bright and colorful and it gave me hope. I woke up thinking 'my depression is over' and so far -- it looks to be that way. Thank you Fire_Star. Your quote "a colourful world for us to explore" somehow came true in my dream. I was amazed at the colors, and how vivid the dream was.

Thank you everyone who responded! I am eternally grateful! I did not think I was going to make it out of this depressive state alive. But I did! And I am so grateful to all of you!! Much Love!!

[perpetuallysad]

Yea! I'm glad you are doing better, and glad to help any time and any way I can.

[Fire_Star]

Yay! Good to hear you're doing better. :-D

[lonegael]

((((((((Giabrina))))))))) May the memory of that dream return even when the world seems dark! Huggs

[doriesmom]

Re: I tried

Giabrina,

You stated so simply and eloquently what many of us are feeling. Thank you for those words.

[imfalling]

Giabrina,
I know that everyday we wake up you wonder is today going to be bad or good day. I know how you feel, I get tired of trying too, but we can't GIVE UP! We can't let this disease win. I get so consumed by Bipolar sometimes I scream. You ride the roller coaster everyday, and some days you want to JUMP OFF! You're strong and I know you have helped me, I'm still in my legas mess, but I have to go on, no matter what happens. Best to you sweetie*