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#1
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I started my day so positive.....now...I am depressed...racing thoughts....untrusting
did my fiance really have lunch with his boss....or another woman..??? what did he do for those 2 hours when he left yesterday?? why does he suddenly have to stay at work til 7 daily???? i could ask him...but he will lie |
#2
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I hate feeling like this....hate the mood swings...i wish I was normal
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#3
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Has he lied to you before or is it all coming from your depression? Maybe he has a deadline so he works a little later. Maybe he just needs a little breather while you are "in the darkness". He can't fix it for you and that fact makes the ones who love us feel helpless. I tend to await rejection because I know how difficult it is to take my illness: I don't want to be around me during the down times, why should he? But all that comes from inside me, not from anything he does. I know you can't control your thoughts but at least try to control expressing them to your boyfriend until this passes. No one likes to be accused of something they are not doing. Just hang on. You will come out of it. We always eventually do. Hope things are better soon.
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dj "Everything sad is coming untrue." : ) |
#4
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Dwelling on the uncertainties will make the problem worse. Bring your thoughts into the present, not the past or future......take it a minute at a time, and try to relax...you may feel better.....and that is a start. Remember that some things you can change and some you cannot..Good luck....Y
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And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too...I'll see you on the darkside of the moon......
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#5
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Can you share your fears with your fiance without being accusatory? Maybe using I statements such as, "I get uncomfortable when you are staying late at work. Can you let me in on what you have to do so that I don't worry?" Things like that go a long way in relationships. I am learning this in couples therapy with my husband.
If he know about your illness, it makes it easier to talk about these things because you can flat out say things like, "This is probably my illness talking, but I worry about whether you are with your boss or another woman. I know it might make you angry to hear me say these things to you, but it is what my illness does to me so I need extra reassurance from you." It isn't an easy conversation to have, but it could take some of the worry away from you. I hope you feel better soon. |
#6
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I have voiced them....sometimes he calls and lets me know he will be late...sometimes he doesn't...He really doesn't know much about my illness....we have not discussed it...He knows I am bipolar but doesn't know much about it...He has always chalked up my behavior as to me just being "B" and accusing him....and telling me I have no trust...Just recently, I have decided to go back to therapy...I am hoping this will help
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