[ldm120206]

like i said before...me and my boyfriend of 3 years almost broke up....but we decided to try to work it out...so...if we are trying to work it out....why is he having me apply for affordable housing...in case we don't work out...I am lost....he acts so loving...tells me he is trying to make things work....the weekend was really awesome...there was talk of me trying to get govt assisted housing last week...as my only income is my ssI..and ssa....so..tonight...i go to look at it on the internet....just to see what he would say....i figured maybe he would say" you don't need to apply for it...we will be ok"......instead...he tells me what county to apply for so i can get it transferred back to my hometown....so..he tells me he loves me....we have been closer this weekend than ever....so i thought...but he still wants me to seek other housing.....maybe i am just an idiot

[perpetuallysad]

Oh that's hard and confusing. I know you may not want to, but maybe you should just ask him if he wants you to move out. That way you don't have this uncertainty and you can make definitive choices to move forward with your life, with or without him.

Hugs to you

[ldm120206]

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

Oh that's hard and confusing. I know you may not want to, but maybe you should just ask him if he wants you to move out. That way you don't have this uncertainty and you can make definitive choices to move forward with your life, with or without him.

Hugs to you

I asked him...he siad...no...he wants to try to work things out....,but just in case...i should apply for housing assistance....i am devastated...it is like he is looking to not be with me in the near future.

[jennaorgana]

wow that's super confusing. you aren't an idiot at all. anyone could get worked up over his weird behavior. wow, just in case? that doesn't seem like he is very committed. i hate men.

please keep us updated

[ldm120206]

Originally Posted by jennaorgana

wow that's super confusing. you aren't an idiot at all. anyone could get worked up over his weird behavior. wow, just in case? that doesn't seem like he is very committed. i hate men.

please keep us updated

yes...very confused...i got upset about it and went into the bedroom and cried....then later i asked him about it...he accused me of coping a tude and storming off...which is not what i did...i went and cried...just seems like he wants me here for the time being because he has noone else right now....i am busting my butt...watching everything i do and say because i really want to make it work....he is watching me like a hawk...just waiting to down me for any thing i do wrong

[perpetuallysad]

In a relationship you are supposed to both work on things. To me it sounds like you are having to do all the "working" and he's just sitting around waiting to call out your mistakes. Right now you may feel like you "have" to stay, but DON'T make yourself feel like its your only choice. Maybe having the apartment read to move into isn't a bad thing, maybe you wouldn't feel so nervous about him giving you the boot. Heck, maybe then you could BREAK UP with HIM. There has to be give an take in a relationship for both people to be happy.

[ldm120206]

True....I have decided today....He does not determine my self worth....I have a beautiful 11 year old daughter who I need to be there for 100 percent....I have been so hung up on how i don't want to lose him....But the fact is...I made it without him before....My daughter needs me and loves me unconditionally...dysfunction...mystakes and all.

[perpetuallysad]

Good! That is a really healthy outlook ldm! Now maybe start that application process so you have a safe place to go if you need to leave?

[ldm120206]

I am because I am not so sure he really knows what he wants...I really think he just feels obligated to be with me right now because he moved me out here....Anyway...It is me time

[dj586858]

Way to go!! Do what you have to do for you and your daughter. If he stays in your life then great but knowing you can make it on your own is priceless. Keep moving forward!

[NuckingFutz]

Just who does this guy think he is? What he is doing is sending you mixed signals. We call it crazy making behavior. He is a whimp and a coward making you feel that way. You deserve better. You deserve the best and from your posts, you know he is not. Also note that some of the affordable housing lists are pretty long. So the sooner you get your app put in, the better. Another tip, if you are not on a lease, you can list yourself as homeless and move up on the list quite quickly. And make that bozo treat you right.

[Rainy_daze]

I am going through a similar situation with my husband. I just wanted to tell you your words made an impact on me and THANK YOU. I now have a bit more gumption to just suck it up and survive without him...as I did before he came along. You will be just fine!