[melly23]

I don't know what's wrong with me....One day i will feel like i am buried in a hole and i can't get out, and the next i will be happy and content with life. Like right now I'm happy I'm fine but a couple days ago i didn't want to exist anymore. My thoughts race on and on, I feel so depressed one day and the next i feel on top of the world. I feel like I am going crazy. I'm not sure if it's bipolar or not but i know that this is not normal. I am afraid to go to a psychologist. I'm afraid of what they will say. As long as i can remember i have always been on this roller coaster. It's ruining my marriage, and i know I'm not being the best mother that i can be...sorry for the rant. I am so afraid of what tommorow will hold because I never know what my mood will be like for the day...it sucks. I would appreciate any advice..and thanks for reading this far..-Melissa

[Anneinside]

You are seeing the symptoms of bipolar, and you are here on this site so you must have some feelings that you have bipolar. Seeing a psychologist and/or psychiatrist can mean that you have an actual diagnosis, which can be a relief. Once it is documented you can know that you are not "crazy", lazy or anything else, you have a disorder. You have to have a diagnosis in order to get help.

[NuckingFutz]

Welcome to PC! I agree with the above response. Bipolar is a treatable medical condition. I know for myself I could not handle this illness by myself. This is a great place to come to for information and support. Have a look around!

[daisychic]

Sorry I was gonna post earlier when you posted but had technical issues. I agree with the above post, once diagnosed you can work towards some treatments. But I see your scared to go to psychologist. I was too at first but then I decided to go and it was a big help. To have someone to talk to about anything and they wont judge you and sometimes they can offer some good ideas to help. But what I was gonna ask you is do you have a regular family doctor? It might be easier to talk to them and let them know whats gonna on with you. Its a good place to start too so that you can rule out any physical issues. Sometimes other things can cause mood swings. I personally have had to deal with thyroid and hormonal issues and boy can those cause you to change moods alot too.

You have found a great place here for support and info. Good luck to you.

[loveregardless]

I'm having a pretty tough day myself, and not feeling exceptionally articulate, but I wanted to say one thing to you. You are being the best mother that you can be RIGHT NOW, and as much as I beat myself up about that every single day (I am a new mom with a 7 month old), I know that there are so many children who are not lucky enough to have a mom who cares how they treat their children, or cares how their children feel, let alone care enough to want to get help and change for the ones they love (and themselves). So, while going through this process of discovery, try to accept where you are TODAY and know that LOVE is the single greatest gift we can ever give our children. And I have no doubt that your children know they are loved. <3 (((huggs)))

[melly23]

Thank you so much everyone! I'm glad i found some kind of support. It's good to know that your not alone.

[dj586858]

I was relieved to finally have a name for what was happening to me, to know it wasn't my fault, I wasn't a failure at life and to find the treatment that was right for me. You are definitely not alone. Getting the help you need can't hurt and it can absolutely help. Good luck!