[grizmom]

Even with my meds, I still tend to run on the depressed side (bipolar 2), but since I started the med combo about a year ago, the depression has not gotten below mild-moderate very often. I have noticed though that in the last few weeks I've been down around moderate or moderate-severe quite often (thanks to my handy mood diary and graph), and I also realized that simple things have become hard again; bathing, cleaning, concentrating, motivation, etc. so I did call today and my current doc (I'm hoping to switch soon) is on hospital only duty this week, so I wouldn't be able to get in until Monday at the soonest with him, so I talked to his nurse and he was able to get me in to see a different doc on Thursday afternoon. I have seen this lady a couple of times when I was in the hospital and she was really nice, so I'm actually glad that I'll be seeing her instead of my regular doc anyhow.

I am also still having a lot of fatigue from the increase in my anti-anxiety meds in early February, so I think by now if it was only a short term side effect it would have passed, but I am exhausted all the time. Also, my anxiety has increased as well as my depression so I'm hoping she will look at a different option. I don't want to give up completely on the Lamictal, I'm hoping that maybe adding a low dose of an anti-depressant will help; I think that some of those SSRI's also can help with anxiety. I do also think that beyond a regular med to control my anxiety, I might need an as-needed anxiety med for those times when I get triggered by something and my anxiety goes through the roof. I'm going to take in the mood graphs I have made from February and March, you can really see the difference when you look at them!

As far as switching docs, I did mention to the nurse that I want to switch to Dr. L. and he said that Dr. L. would have to review my file and decide if he would be willing to see me. I still don't really know exactly what the process is to actually ask for a new doctor; I'm hoping that when I see Dr. W. on Thursday I can ask her if she knows what I need to do.

So anyhow, wish me luck...I hope that she will be able to get me started on something so that I don't end up spiraling down into crisis mode where I get suicidal and have to get into the hospital, that is the last thing I want right now, especially since I'm trying to get started in that new program and I have appointments coming up to get the paperwork finished so I can actually get started in the program. I also have dental appointments coming up soon to get my many cavities filled; I'd like to get in and get that over with as soon as I can.

Thanks everyone for always being so supportive

[billieJ]

Bless You and You have found a friend who knows about depression, at least. An antidepressant agent probably would help. Effexor XR at a relatively high dose of 325 mg daily, helps me to some extent. But I know what it is to have such difficulty with bathing, cleaning, the proverbial "activities of daily living" and low motivation. That is the hardest one I keep thinking - until I accidentally forget meds for a time - and get all the negative thoughts. Cymbalta is good for some people, working all 3 neurtransmitters, rather than 2. I don't mean to advertise here. Different antidepressants for different folks, with special caution for the bipolar. I do with you luck, love, and good pdoc. billieJ

[grizmom]

Thanks billiej...I was on effexor in the past and I had to go off of it because I was gaining 5 or more pounds per week, even though I hardly ate anything and at that time I was on a regular exercise routine. My regular doctor and my pdoc both said it was too dangerous to gain weight that quickly. Seroquel made me gain weight also, but it wasn't so sudden, I gained 4 or 5 pounds a month and I did eventually become overweight, but it finally did stabalize and the seroquel does work well for me. I think I was on Cymbalta at one point, but not with this particular combination of meds. I know you aren't trying to advertise, it is good to hear what has helped others even though I know that it might not work for me; it still gives me hope that I will also find something that will work, you know? Thanks for the well-wishes, I am glad I gave in and sought help before I reached crisis, that's a big step for me. In the past I would often put off seeing anyone until I had no choice but to be hospitalized.

[phlashback]

Good luck and well wishes grizmom. I have been cycling a bit lately, and I have got an apt to see my doc April 5th... It seems like so far away. My anxiety has been a bit higher, although there has been a lot of emotions to process lately. Depression seems to be getting better, but I am also a bit high strung at the moment.

We are here for you!

[grizmom]

You know what? Now I'm not sure if it was the effexor or the depakote that was the one that made me gain so much weight. It was 11 years ago and I've been on so many meds that I might have them confused. I was seeing a different pdoc back then and I was being seen at a different hospital in town, so I don't know if my current docs would have it on file. I wish now that I'd kept better track of what I've taken and what side effects I had.

Edit: I contacted my ex and he thinks it was the effexor. Still wish I'd kept track!

Originally Posted by grizmom

Thanks billiej...I was on effexor in the past and I had to go off of it because I was gaining 5 or more pounds per week, even though I hardly ate anything and at that time I was on a regular exercise routine. My regular doctor and my pdoc both said it was too dangerous to gain weight that quickly. Seroquel made me gain weight also, but it wasn't so sudden, I gained 4 or 5 pounds a month and I did eventually become overweight, but it finally did stabalize and the seroquel does work well for me. I think I was on Cymbalta at one point, but not with this particular combination of meds. I know you aren't trying to advertise, it is good to hear what has helped others even though I know that it might not work for me; it still gives me hope that I will also find something that will work, you know? Thanks for the well-wishes, I am glad I gave in and sought help before I reached crisis, that's a big step for me. In the past I would often put off seeing anyone until I had no choice but to be hospitalized.