[leah0306]

I WENT TO THE PSYDR. APPT. ON THURSDAY, FINALLY WORKED UP THE COURAGE TO MENTION THE COMPULSIVE SELF-INJURY ISSUE IVE DEALT WITH 15 YEARS, HES ONLY SEEN ME TWICE AND BECAUSE IT IS A CLINIC AND ALL, ITS DONE ON A VIDEO CONFERENCE. I REALLY LIKE HIS PERSONALITY, HES 81-LOOKS IN HIS 50'S, FEISTY AND SHARP, BUT THE RESPONSE I GOT WAS "YOUR A SMART GIRL, ITS MIND OVER MATTER"!! NOW THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IVE WOKEN UP TO FIND MYSELF DOING, SCRATHCHING UNTIL THERES QUITE ALOT OF BLOOD, ITS NOT ((ALWAYS CONCIOUSLY)), AND IVE READ SOO MANY SELF-HELP BOOKS ITS RIDICULOUS.... I DONT UNDERSTAND....HE DID MENTION THERAPY MIGHT HELP... BUT THIS IS SOMETHING I KNOW IS HARMFUL AND IRRATIONAL, BUT CONTINUES IN DAILY BASIS,.... I GUESS HE FIGURES IM PRETTY MAXED OUT ON MEDS. AND THERES NOT MUCH TO DO AS FAR AS THAT GOES.... JUST SO FRUSTRATED WITH ALL OF IT... DOESNT SEEM LIKE I WILL EVER STOP AND I REALLY AM READY TO STOP.. IF ANYONE HERE HAS DEALT WITH THIS ISSUE I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE ANY FEEDBACK.... PLEASE

[mamaJenof5]

Sometimes when I am having an "fit" or I am at the end of my ropes and feel like I am nothing and my life means nothing .....when these things happen I have the same issues....I have been in the shower and (I don't know how to decribe what I'm thinking) I scrub my body so raw and sometimes I scratch my legs/thighs so hard they bleed and scar.I couldn't even begin to know what it feels like to go through this daily ...I too have been this way since I can remember(like 5yrs old)...I feel for you and I know you can't just use mind over matter(well you can to some extent) I think you need a new pdoc and some constant therapy(easier said than done right) good luck and keep me posted as to how things go

[grizmom]

Hi leah...I used to SI by cutting, but I was able to quit doing that. And honestly, I did have to do the "mind over matter" for that. However, I still compulsively pick at scabs and bite my nails until they bleed and I haven't had any luck trying to stop with those. Even my anti-anxiety med doesn't help with it. I hope you can find something that helps...and if you do, let us know what it is! The nail biting for me started more recently...about 5 months ago. Until then, I had nice long nails for 20 years. Don't know why I started and don't know how to stop

[Lisa Michelle]

leah it might be a case of other things having to improve before the SI improves fully. Maybe your doctor knows that SI is a symptom of other things, like depression, and so he didn't think it was necessary to go into the SI (in that session) just yet because other things can be improved first.
I don't know, but I'm sure if he brushed over it it's either because he didn't understand how upset you were over it and how much it affects you, or just that he has another method of helping you with that.
I think it's worth sticking with him. If you think he's brushed over it you can bring it up again. Let him know how you feel. You can even ask him about his response.

I used to cut, and do 'occassionally' as a response usually to anger/extreme emotion. It's never been daily for me, perhaps for you it's a kind of... habit? Or an addiction of some sort? You could try intentionally not doing it. Resist the urges. You won't always manage but you can try. I think in time, with effort, you would do it less.
With me I was going through a phase of SI not long ago and my bf's reaction to it made me stop. It was a new relationship and his reaction made me see it in a different way. I said it's not a big deal but he was really worried about it. I didn't want him to keep seeing my cuts so I just sort of stopped. I'm not saying it would be that easy for you, though. But if you WANT to stop, I do believe that you can.

I think you'd benefit from regular therapy so you can talk about your feelings. Perhaps that would help you to not have to release the emotions via self harm? If you're venting your frustrations with a therapist, it MIGHT help with the rest. It's worth a try.
x

[mamaJenof5]

I def think these ladies gave you better advice than I did....guess when you can't stop something yourself you should just listen and learn mind over matter prob is the way this will have to end but I just ment that I feel for you for your struggle it won't be easy but if you want it bad enough I believe you can do it...guess I should take my own advice

[musikcrazy]

I still cut myself sometimes, although nowhere near as often as I used to. I usually do it when I get upset at myself for something. It's sort of like a punishment, but a release at the same time. Maybe your pdoc didn't want to appear too alarmed. Sometimes I wonder if pdoc's do that so that you'll keep opening up. I don't know, just one of my weird ideas. It is very hard to control the urge to SI. Keep trying different techniques until you find what works for you. And give yourself small goals to accomplish at first. Deep breathing when you're feeling the urge can help as long as you can hold off long enough to try it.

[sugahorse1]

I reach a stage with anger/frustration/anxiety where I just want to scream. Not really possible as I live in a flat, but I almost scream internally and really tense my muscles up for a few seconds before relaxing and lying on the bed to calm down, sometimes in tears.
When it's not quite that bad, I do have the terrible habit of biting my nails, and I know it's not going to be a mind over matter thing, as you hardly even notice you're doing it?!?!