Bipolar & working - Your story?

Giggle

I didn't realize before the diagnosis there was a pattern. I'm 30 and have only ever held a full time job for 4 months. My current job, which in the past I used to work 3 days a week and now I only work 1 day/wk is the longest I've held a job of any kind. 2.5 years. I'm a very responsible and hard working person. I go to school too, but have dropped out and gone back 4 times now. It's been 13 years I've been trying for a Bachelor's, but I haven't received any grade lower than an A-. I'm a perfectionist. When I do work, my performance is outstanding. The problem is my illness makes me burn out fast and my emotional state is usually depressed so even getting out of bed to make it to work or school takes sheer determination. Most days I have to leave early.

I wish I could be like normal people and make a sustainable wage. I have sure as hell tried all my life. I've applied for disability as a last resort. I'm barely functional these days. If not depression and anxiety, it's the fatigue and other side effects caused by my meds. This disease is crippling for most people. I'm not a wuss or anything. I fight every day to keep going to work and school part time. The doctors are amazed I can even do that. I've always been stubborn and not a quitter. Even when I have to stop something temporarily, I keep on going back trying to finish.

There's only so much you can do, but I'm using every ounce of my strength and I think everyone else on this site is too. This is not an illness for the faint of heart.

PS...I too am a writer. I temped in NYC where I wrote most of my novel. I finished it in May '08 and haven't looked at it since, although people have read it online and seemed to really enjoy it. No one becomes a famous author any more. The odds are greater that you'll get struck by lighting. Everyone is a writer just like everyone is a filmmaker. Not to try to dash anyone's dreams, but I decided to face the sheer numbers and not expend any more of my energy on it. I wrote it, I loved writing it, and that's all that matters. There are sites where you can share and read works from other writers and that's far more rewarding than the publishing process. TheNextBigWriter is one such place.

If he does become too disabled to work, I recommend applying to SSDI. If he's accepted, and assuming he has the strength to do anything given the challenges of the disease, he can write when he's able.

I get irritable and angry and have a very short concentration span. The first few hours are bad, as I am still getting over my tablets from the night before (including decent strength sleeping tabs). Around lunch I am most productive, but then then to slip back into a depressive phase.
I have however been working full time for around 5 or 6 years now, but battling more and more as the days go by. I am seeing my p-doc tomorrow, and ask her how I should handle those days where I can't really work as I just want to go home and curl up in bed.
Like I mentioned in another post - my saving grace is that I'm hardly supervised at work, and as long as my output seems reasonable, I get by

The only jobs I've ever held are the kind that require little more than showing up with your uniform on, so no problem there. I have missed work because of bipolar issues, but not so often that my job was ever at risk.

School, on the other hand, which is supposed to be preparing me for a career is much more difficult with bipolar. I've failed classes, dropped semesters, skipped term assignments etc. I'm too stuborn to let bipolar stop me and now that I've found medication that works, hopefully it won't destroy my future career.

same here....I just cant get along with others.Im the boss so, I cant fired me.that is the only reason im still there.
I feel isolated and I wonder how much longer can I stay like this!

I wish I could be like normal people and make a sustainable wage. I have sure as hell tried all my life. I've applied for disability as a last resort. I'm barely functional these days. If not depression and anxiety, it's the fatigue and other side effects caused by my meds. This disease is crippling for most people. I'm not a wuss or anything. I fight every day to keep going to work and school part time. The doctors are amazed I can even do that. I've always been stubborn and not a quitter. Even when I have to stop something temporarily, I keep on going back trying to finish.

This is why I am so reluctant to start on meds. I suffer sometimes and I feel terrible, but yet most of the time I managed to pull myself out of bed. I have not had a stable job yet, I went to Uni till last year and have been searching since, with working doing this and that. But even as a leaflet distributor, I felt better than sitting home feeling sorry for myself. I tend to do than a lot when I have nothing to fill my days. I think it was Freud who said people get engaged in politics to forget their own misery... well, International relations bachelor here! And I sure know a lot about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. For me, school kept my mind busy. My minor was English... it was hella lot of work, but it kept me from thinking about myself. My few absences could be easily excused as having flu. So... I am not willing to mess up with my system in hope to get "better" one day.

I think everybody should try to work... it's how it supposed to be. Or at least do something meangifull... not doing anything is sort of like sensory deprivation and it can kill.

Now hopefully I will work again and not just "this-and-that"... and I believe it's a way to my recovery (yes, I do believe one can recover from BP... at least to a degree). Sure work sucks a lot of times... but Venus needs cash for getaways!

My energy level is not very good and when doing a conventional 9-5 job after a couple weeks I am burnt out.

I am very good at abstract logic. I am a professional poker player who also recently starting trading stocks, after the crash fortunately.

The good thing about being a poker player is I set my own hours, I don't have to work if I don't feel up to it. On the flip side unlike regular jobs you can't work if your not sharp, you lose alot if you try that.

I have really struggled with tilt and negative emotions. I have lost more than a quarter million of the past few years in tilting and playing when I shouldn't. Still made 40k a year during that stretch, just would have made a lot more without those problems.

I have worked really hard at it and the problem has mostly gone away. What I discovered is my frustration that lead to playing very bad and keep playing when losing wasn't caused because of the losing. I would take my frustration and stress out by playing when I know I shouldn't. It was only once I started to work hard at reducing stress that I got things under control. Prayer, meditation and some hypnosis really helped.

Another problem now is my energy level is very low. Have only been able to play a couple hours at most for a stretch and havne't been able to play in the past 2 weeks. That is frustrating, but techniques have really helped to reduce the stress. Next week I will see pdoc and ask about adding ADD meds.

Oh, and I've only had one manic episode before diagnosed, none after. IF I were manic I might have lost it all thinking I can beat anyone.