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Old May 03, 2010, 05:11 PM
jayy46 jayy46 is offline
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Location: san antonio, TX
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ok i feel like i need help with this. I have bipolar disorder and im going to start therapy as part of my probation program. But heres the thing, i think i already know what triggers my "breakdowns" and mood swings; my mom. Shes always been nagging at me since i was a kid and im scared its driving me insane. i meann i even hear her yelling at me in school when shes not there. im just scared to tell my therapist about it because 1) idont want to get my mom in trouble with cps or anything, because she DID used to beat me. and 2) if my therapist tells my mom about it, which she probably will.. my mom will get mad at me for telling and yell at me some more. any advise?

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  #2  
Old May 04, 2010, 03:24 AM
Eloise42 Eloise42 is offline
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I have a great relationship with my mother now but she is my BPD kryptonite. She stresses me out more than anything else in the world and fundamentally doesn't understand the concept of boundaries. I still make sure there is zanax in my purse before we go out to dinner.

If you are under eighteen, in the US your therapist might have to report the abuse legally. That said, I used to volunteer as an advocate for victims of assault and in the real world therapists and advocates know full well that if a victim doesn't want to participate in a complaint it is: 1) pretty much an impossible uphill battle and: 2) can really get in the way of actually helping.

You should be able to talk about what happened to you. If you are nervous ask the therapist hypothetically "IF a patient my age told you about something LIKE____ that happened when they were ___ years old, would you report it against their wishes?"

That way the therapist can give you an idea of what rules they have to obey but doesn't have really have enough information to go against what you want.
  #3  
Old May 04, 2010, 08:30 AM
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DancingAlone DancingAlone is offline
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I don't know how old you are, you may still be at home and that makes it really difficult to avoid your mom's triggering you. But I learned over the years that I have the right to tell anybody, even family, to leave me alone! if they trigger me, which they do. They never "got it" and it took a while to make them, even if they didn't try to understand that their words hurt, leave me alone. When you are on your own, it will be easier.

But as far as the abuse, it's YOUR life, I'd hate to see you try and protect the "abuser" (your mom). Anyway, good luck and take care of YOU.
  #4  
Old May 04, 2010, 09:04 AM
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leah0306 leah0306 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: alabama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jayy46 View Post
ok i feel like i need help with this. I have bipolar disorder and im going to start therapy as part of my probation program. But heres the thing, i think i already know what triggers my "breakdowns" and mood swings; my mom. Shes always been nagging at me since i was a kid and im scared its driving me insane. i meann i even hear her yelling at me in school when shes not there. im just scared to tell my therapist about it because 1) idont want to get my mom in trouble with cps or anything, because she DID used to beat me. and 2) if my therapist tells my mom about it, which she probably will.. my mom will get mad at me for telling and yell at me some more. any advise?
Sorry to read that your loved one is the trigger, unfortunately its that way for me also, i dont know , you have to take care of yourself, despite what might happen, your metal health is so important...so, i guess what im saying((and its just my opinion)) is talking to your counceler might be helpful for you, dealing with the issues.... im sending you my best wishes with this and hugs, take care
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In a mad world only the mad are sane--Akira Kurosawa

The things we fear have already happened...Deepak Choppra
  #5  
Old May 04, 2010, 05:05 PM
musikcrazy musikcrazy is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Orlando
Posts: 172
My Mom is my number one trigger. When I was in high school I ran away from home all the time because of it. Finally a minister at my church tried to help me, but I knew better than to tell the truth. I didn't tell anyone about my homelife until I was 18. That fact of the matter is that a therapist has to report any abuse of a minor. But on the other hand, your therapist has to keep what you say in sessions confidential unless they feel that your life is in danger. I would let the therapist know upfront that you do not want your problems with your Mom to be discussed outside of your sessions and without your permission. I would try building a relationship with the therapist until you become more comfortable in sharing your relationship with your Mom.
In dealing with your Mom, maybe you could write a letter explaining how she triggers you. That way you wouldn't have to worry about getting into an argument with her over it and you would be letting her know how she can help you. There are no easy answers to this. I am 35 and it still takes me weeks to recover from a visit from Mom. That sounds so awful, but it's the truth. I have recently started standing up for myself with my Mom and she has backed down some.
If you can, approach her and let her know how her behavior is affecting you. Is your Mom educated on Bipolar Disorder?
  #6  
Old May 04, 2010, 11:06 PM
Claire89-2 Claire89-2 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: northern California
Posts: 43
Your therapy is for you. In therapy you talk about everything any anything. That's how it works to help you become more calm and stronger emotionally. Tell your therapist exactly what you said here and tell him/her about your concerns.

- Claire

Quote:
Originally Posted by jayy46 View Post
ok i feel like i need help with this. I have bipolar disorder and im going to start therapy as part of my probation program. But heres the thing, i think i already know what triggers my "breakdowns" and mood swings; my mom. Shes always been nagging at me since i was a kid and im scared its driving me insane. i meann i even hear her yelling at me in school when shes not there. im just scared to tell my therapist about it because 1) idont want to get my mom in trouble with cps or anything, because she DID used to beat me. and 2) if my therapist tells my mom about it, which she probably will.. my mom will get mad at me for telling and yell at me some more. any advise?
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