Trying for hope

Hi guys. I know I'm seldom on. I just wanted to write a somewhat positive message. I'm usually only on here when in a crisis.

I work 1-1.5 days a week and go to school twice a week. I'm caught up on my classes right now, but they're not over until the first week of June. Work is tedious, but at least I don't have as much anxiety about it as I used to.

Basically I'm hoping that this summer I'll be able to start writing again. I've only written one short story and a few poems in 16 months. I used to be very prolific. I finished my first novel in May '08 during a hypomanic episode. I wish I could start a second novel, but writing anything creative is intimidating these days. About all I can do is schoolwork or watch recorded programs at night. Makes me feel like a drone.

In order to make things better, I started to come off of all my meds a couple of weeks ago. They make me sluggish mentally. I need my edge back. I stopped drinking in October of '09, but my brain still feels like it's in a fog. So I blame the meds. I was on 6 to start with. Now I'm on 5. I'll be on 3 as of Wednesday and one of those is not a psych med.

Just looking for support in this time of transition, but I'm really doing better than I have in about a year. Things are looking up. Thank you all for being there for me ever since I came on here last May.

I am so glad that you are doing well and I wish you the best of luck with coming off of meds. Thank you for posting this...it's great to hear a positive story! Stop in and keep us updated!

Great for you, thinker22!!! Glad to hear it! Thanks for sharing the good news!

I am glad to hear of your plans and hopes.
I hope though if you start to feel ill you will consider going back on your meds.

Today is my first day without an anti-depressant. I swear today has been the best day I've had in terms of mood since last summer. I took the mood tracker test as I do every day and today is the first time my depression dropped below the mood of concern level since September.

I was on 6 medications earlier this month and now I'm only on 3. My mood has been gradually improving over the last two weeks as I've come off of them.

I hope this will actually last! I had a feeling I was overmedicated. Maybe things are starting to turn and the depressed episode has gone into remission so I don't need much medication now.

If my mood starts to plummet, I will definitely go back on whatever it was I last dropped. I'm also going to tell my p-doc everything when I see her next week. Don't worry anyone, I'm very careful about how I taper myself off of my meds.

Thank you all for your support!

That's awesome! It's so nice to have a good day...I hope there are many, many more in your future!!

Great news!!!

Second day without an anti-depressant and feeling even better! I can't believe how normal I feel. Not hypomanic, not depressed. Just good. Like I can handle my life and the future isn't so grim. They say it takes 48 hours for this AD to come out of your system, so I'll know by tomorrow morning if this is just a fluke or if it was actually harming instead of helping.

I slept last night for the first time in weeks without a sleep aid. I'm only on 80mg of Geodon and 125mg of Nuvigil and my thyroid medicine. I may have found the perfect combo. But I keep thinking if I feel this good on so little, maybe I'm recovered and I need nothing. The thought of being med free excites me so much, I'm afraid I might just go for it and get myself into trouble. I'm going to talk about it with the p-doc on Wednesday. I don't think I'll change anything else before then.

to all.