Spending money

How about this for impulsive....initiating a sale on a 2010 G55 AMG.

:::cries::::

It's my dream car. That's mania for my boyfriend and I was manic, so I agreed, even though at first I resisted! GOD. I don't even care about cars. I just want to smack myself sometimes (playfully).

I guess what I'm trying to say is...that I would learn from my impulsivity issues when I had to eat from the dollar store for the rest of the week. Now, I'm not penalized for them....and with two BP people in a relationship, when we're both manic, we used to just spend gag-inducing amounts. Luckily, now I recognize the mania with that and re-direct it, or I'll point out to BF that he's looks like he's going into a manic episode. He'll stop, look at me and say, "No I'm not! Oh...wait...maybe you're right.". Hah. I guess just pointing them out cna help you protect yourself from....well, yourself. I won't go shopping with him when he's manic....one time he asked for one of everything (and bought them) of stuff for me...and so if I burst his little bubble and won't go with him, or I won't go into a specific store with him, he'll generally redirect...even though most people would take full advantage of it. He's had way too much of that in his life....what he needed was someone to love HIM and try to protect him....and not just try to get something from him. Many would take advantage of his moods (from my own observations) - not knowing he's BP, but STILL. I mean, c'mon. He even has people/acquaintances that will ask for money when he's manic because he's more likely to give it to him. That's playing dirty =(

There's been several way too over the top impusle buys...and now I recognize it in him (that's his thing when manic...), and try to ask him to wait and think about it. A shopping spree for me would be TJ Maxx (still).

Yeah.....debit card idea maybe not working, well maybe. I have $2.50 to my name right now (that I'm allowed to spend) and I need to buy some milk on the way home. Milk is $2.39. I will have a whopping 11 cents to get me to payday - on the 11th!!! Yikes!! I don't know if I can do that!!

We do have money in the other checking account, but I was trying not to spend that money.

Sigh. One week, and it's already gone.

Hi Martina, for me it is a sign of going towars maniac period, caus when I'm depressed i usually don't get close enough to a shop. in the "good" perios i'm so much concerned with thinking "don't know how long this lasts so i have to make good use of my mood and bu all the airplane tickets i ever wanted..."

then, again, I come out of a year of eating disorders and looking at my mood tracking i realise i substituted the eating attacks with buying...

maybe try to substitute it with the least harmful action (least harmful to your pockets), eg when you feel like buying and buying ask a friend to show you their dvd collection and borrow, or do sport, or any hobby. dont know if this is a good tipp for you, i m still trying to work out the solution for myself but this is as far as i can tell...

take care

i think i spend more when im depressed. I think it will make me feel better to buy fresh flowers and good candles and new clothes for the boys etc but it never does. When im manic my hubby keeps a close eye on what im spending but when im depressed he wants me to be happy so if i say baby those flowers will make me feel better than he lets my buy them. My money is so closely gaurded by my husband that when Iwent to the store to buy feminine products and shampoo and conditioner on my lunch break he said I went on a spending spree. lol man I wish he would let me go on a real spree. but then our bills wouldnt be paid. So i guess it works out best this way.

I seem to be on the fence on the spending topic..
When I'm manic, I spend cos I "need" stuff and I really couldn't care less about the next day, and when I'm depressed, I spend to make me feel better...

Guess I'm in a No-Win situation guys...

Wow... I didn't realize until reading this that I do have the spending issue. I think I also buy when I'm depressed b/c it'll make me feel better! and I buy when I'm happy b/c everything is just so great and I need these things now! I guess I don't go around buying big expensive items, just a bunch of small ones that add up.

I also worry about money. Do you guys worry about money? Sometimes I go through phases where I think... omg I have no money what am I going to do how am I going to pay for anything ever again I'm going to have to take out a credit card just to buy groceries and I can't work so I'll never pay it off and my life will be over and I'll never catch up omg why can't I just be normal??? (this is the type of thought I have)

I'm going to stop talking about it b/c it's getting my anxiety worked up. Oops.

Okay, being dumb, but I'm going to add something.

I'm a writer so I am into books, right? I'll often hear of a book and decide I must have it even though I already have five or so others that I'm reading. Why can't I wait until it's time for a new book? It's like... I have to have it right then. I get all excited and have to go out b/c I need it. Sometimes I even do it when I haven't even read a book in a while. I go through these phases (of course) where I am reading constantly, but then it goes away... Yet, somehow I still feel the need to have the new book.

I get anxiety and almost have panic attacks too thinking about things like this and when I'm doing it. I even like just being in a bookstore. It's so hard to leave the book behind or without something in hand. And lately, I've been drinking stupid starbucks which I always hated them before and I can't stop myself from getting stupid frappachinos even though they are ridiculously expensive. Help! lol

Aqua, You are totally not alone about the books. I was a history major and can't seem to stop myself from buying a great/new history book. Even if I have no intention of sitting down and reading it. Then again, I just ordered a bunch of custom bookplates (and they're crooked!!! Can you believe that?! They were super expensive...they are having to be reprinted).

I can only go to the bookstore when I'm "high" (hypomanic). If I'm depressed, I can't. Books are an escape and a source of knowledge...that may be why you're drawn to them during these times....just like Sugahorse said on another thread (I think it was one I started), it's a source of security and comfort.

xoxo

my answer to my overspending was to file for bankruptcy. now i have NO credit so i CAN'T spend any money i don't have. it is almost a relief. except when i need something online or in a store and can't buy it - gives me a sense of frustration. but i am debt free including my car and cannot spend any significant money for 7 years.

At one point I had 14 credit cards with balances on them; I've managed to get that down to 6. This is a major issue with me- especially online shopping, since I don't like to leave the house much. eBay is the devil.

I wear pants to work 5 days a week, and yet I went and bought a closet full of skirts that I never wear. I just had to have them- I told myself that I'll wear them on weekends. Then it turns out I wear one or two of my favorites, and I have six others sitting there with the tags still on for the last 6 months!

I shop because it soothes my mixed states- it cheers me up, yet acts as a sedative to calm the restlessness. I don't purchase big things, but a bunch of inexpensive things until the last cent is gone or my card is maxed out. I tell myself if there's room on the card, then I can afford it. Then, half the time, I feel guilty and end up returning it, or if too much time is passed I have to sell it at a loss. Though I've managed to get a system for paying my cards down, I'm definitely not cured, since I have nothing in savings and live paycheck-to-paycheck. If the money is there, I have to spend it.

It seems that I've always got some vision in my head of something I "need" that will make my life complete. It's like a big hole inside of me that I try to fill with pretty things, but it doesn't work, and as soon as I have that thing, I'm onto a new obsession.

I especially do that with books. Right now I have about 7 books that I've only read a third of. I get on a tangent where I have to have all the information that exists on a particular topic, then I get bored with it before I even finish a book, and I need a new topic. In a way, it's like I'm looking to define who I am by what my interests are, so I keep exploring all different subjects. I do this with clothes, too. One month I'm into lacy skirts, and the next I'm into leather and combat boots. The issue goes way deeper than spending money- that's just the symptom. At the root of it, I really just don't know and/or am uncomfortable with who I am, so I look to material things to define me.

I wish I could tell you how to break the impulse, but I don't know either. You're definitely not alone- it's a common problem with Bipolar.

Oh my gosh, reading all of this is just. like. me. I can't save anything because I spend all my spending cash on coffee drinks or makeup or treats for the dog&cat(they have their own cupboard for all their stuff!)
When I was 21 to 25 I danced in an upscale gentlemens bar&made about $75,000 a year. And I have NOTHING to show for it. Luckily(I guess) my credit sucks so I can't get a credit card. I would end up homeless! But when I feel manic I spend money on stuff I don't really need&don't think about it. Then later when I realize I have$1.47 for 2 weeks I get depressed. I'm going to make sure I bring this up at my appointment Tues.
Hopefully we can help each other out and keep our habits better controlled! Its hard but we can ALL do it!

I'm worse at budgeting too; however, I really worked on this after my BPD diagnosis and when I suffered from money losses. I got to understand that spending too much tends to come with the illness.
Anyway, I followed many tips I got from the financial expert in the show "Till Debt Do Us Part." I started with a strict cash budget for a month (or you can do half a month if you prefer that) allotting for all the expenses we would need as a family (bills, allowances, groceries and other miscellaneous expenses). It was difficult at first but one gets the hang of it...I can now monitor the inflow of cash from the outflows (the expenses) and I really make sure that the inflow is higher than the outflow which would account for the savings.
Believe me, it worked wonders...I am slowly able to pay my debts (from my impulsivity in the past), have enough for our needs and even extras for regular leisures. The best pay off is the feeling of being able to do it...I feel proud for this accomplishment. I think I am wiser with money now. I have come a long way I guess given what I was in the past...I hope this works...You can do it...Try it...

Books are my weakness! I have to have all of the latest releases even if it will be months before I can even get around to reading it! I have got to stop this impulse! Books are so great though! Lol!