[Dan M.]

Last year I was feeling suicidal because my dear elderly Mom almost died 3 times on of them I had to drag here half dead accross the floor. She is a 35 year recovered alcoholic, whom amost OD on Oxy for back pain, and my Dad is Bi-Polar but refuse to take his meds. I am a recovering additict too, 10 years smoking pot as a teen through 20's with binge drinking too.

I don't have these huge swings but I have them, I have always been moody. My mind was racing last nigh and I went vocally basaltic on my poor wife, and properly apologized. I couldn't sleep even after 4 sleeping pills. I chose my wife besides her beauty and great person, she is a great influence, but she doesn't understand. She is from Europe and they don't believe much in talking to professionals for help.

I worry because I am an addict, now a food addict, because it calms me although I am fat now, LOL. Everyone of the self test say fit the profile for someone whom is bi polar. The thing is I am highly functionally and have been very successful in life. Can someone tell what else I should consider as to whether or not I am bi polar? I really don't want to be but with 3 suicidal thoughts last years and raging anger I want to find out what's going on. I am afraid they will just give me drugs and say bye. I only want them if I really need them. Thanks for listening I needed that.

[Skully]

You could be bipolar, but it could be something else as well. Your best bet is to go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. I have bipolar and have been successful in life so you can't judge it based on that. I graduated high school 3rd in my class, graduated college with a 3.8 and had a great job. You can still function with bipolar. And especially since your dad was bipolar, I would look into it.

[grizmom]

I agree with Skully; it would be a really good idea to see a psychiatrist and be evaluated. The most important thing is to be completely honest about everything or they won't be able to make a proper diagnosis. I wish you luck! Welcome to PC!

[Shakti]

I would like to mention, too, that medical marijuana is prescribed for anxiety and depression (among other things) in the states where it is legal. And it is becoming legal in more and more states (finally). I only mention this because it alarms me to see people lumping pot in with alcohol...one is a hard drug and one simply is not. It may not be the best option for many people, but for some (including myself) it can be a lifesaver (literally). I'm not discounting what you saw as a problem in your life and I applaud you for being in recovery mode where you feel you have control over it. Kudos!! I think that's awesome...I just wanted to be a voice for the other side, so to speak. However, that you admit to a food addiction kind of seems to me to be trading in one addiction for another. It seems to me the root of the addiction issue is still there and very much alive and that needs to be addressed. That said, I am in no way an expert or a professional, so take anything I say with a grain of salt.

You said that you fit the profile for bipolar but that you are very functional. That functionality can be a hallmark of bipolar II in general or of a hypomanic phase, but also can be a hallmark of mania in bipolar I. Have you seen a psychiatrist yet? I think you should consider this. It would do you good to get these questions sorted out and be on your way to remedying them as best as you can. In addition, the addiction issues and whatnot may in some way be related to other issues...shedding light on all of it would be good.

I'm one of those highly functional but extremely bipolar people. It happens. It's very common actually. Depends on the day, the week, the month...you get the point.

Good luck to you!! Stick around here--this is a great group of people and a wonderful resource to have.

[sugahorse1]

I don't have much to add, except that you seem concerned that your wife does not understand where you're at and doesn't believe in talking to a professional. When you are physically sick (cold, cough...) you go to see a doctor - don't view this as anything else.
I always feel I owe it to myself and my relationship to see a doctor and keep up with any medication and therapy I may be prescribed. I'm not entirely open with my boyfriend, but see my psychiatrist during work hours. This works for me, and I feel at least he doesn't have to walk this path with me too. I just tell him one or 2 pertinent facts he needs to know about me and bipolar.
I think that leaving bipolar untreated is not fair on anyone.

Also - please don't jump to any diagnosis until you have seen a professional

[Yoda]

Hello and welcome

I was not diagnosed with bipolar until about age forty. Looking back now that I know more about the disease I believe that I have had symptoms since high school but I was intelligent and high functioning and did not see a psychiatrist until my PTSD disrupted my life.

Different people experience different symptoms of bipolar. I have some mood changes but I have more pronounced changes in energy and sleep pattern.

Sometimes it takes several tries to find a medication that helps. It took me about seven years to find a combination of meds that levels me out.