[Moreta]

This week has suuuuuuuuuuuucked........

Almost had a mental break down at work yesterday, mainly due to my paranoia that I think that everyone hates me, which is not actually the case, but we all know how a BP mind can work (or not). I ended up calling my husband, and he told me that I need to look at work as a production/game, and the whole point of the production/game is to not care what other people think/say about you at work. The reason to work, is so you get paid, not to make friends. <-----THAT IS THE HARDEST PART. I don't have many friends, and I've been trying sooooo freaking hard to make some here at work. Most of the times I end up blowing it b/c they always want to talk about what you should not talk about at work (Social/Economic/Religion/Politics) and since I'm atheist and have very liberal thinking, you can guess how that conversation would go. Since I work with religious conservatives who don't like to be questioned about the whole religion thing, things don't always go over too well.

Anyways, last night I decided to try it out, the whole acting thing (even though I always enjoyed tech theater to actually acting) and it actually went pretty well today. I just kept reminding myself what my husband said last night:

"If you never went back to work, would anybody even miss you? OR on the other hand, if the tank farms blew up while you weren't there, would you really miss those people b/c they are just so awesome you can't live without them?"

Heh. The worst part about that, was my initial thought of all my stuff I have in my cube would be gone....

So maybe I can get into this whole acting thing b/c i feel a lot better today.

[Fresia]

I am so sorry you had such a bad day. I know what it's like to have job that its only redeeming value was the paycheck. I did treasure my cube too; it was my sanctuary there. Hopefully nothing will happen to it.

You definitely have friends here. Sending a hug.

[Moreta]

Thanks, Fresia.

I actually didn't really like acting. I just had to take theater 1, to take technical theater (lights/sound/make up/set design). Which makes no sense what so ever.

I was mainly referring what I have to do at work as acting, because if I really said what I thought to people, I would probably not have a job. Plus, I need 2-3 more years so I can get my MBA paid for, then go work at a better company making twice as much. It's really weird in the accounting world, because you can either get jobs where you're right out of school, after 2-3 years, or after 5-7 years of experience. Most of the jobs I want to do you need 5-7 years of experience or more, and they want you to be a CPA/CMA and/or have your MBA. I tried taking the CPA, and during the second part of the test, I realized that a.) I don't like taxes, b.) I can't do cash flows, and c.) I don't ever want to have a job where I actually have to do that crap. o.O

I'm more into financial analysis and making reports pretty for the executive so they can understand it......they like pie charts and bar charts and percentages. Sometimes I get to write commentary like: "In (month), (brand) was down 15% in comparison to last year, where (brand) saw an increase of 8%." Then I go out to our website and copy pics of our product and paste them on a page, with a pie chart.

well, i think that got totally off topic.

[Fresia]

I am SOOOOO sorry for misunderstanding. THAT kind of acting I can completely relate to in many ways. Again, I really am sorry, such an idiot I am.

Thank you for sharing what you do and are pursuing. I know I value those with these skills b/c I have no mind for it. However, not liking what you're doing makes it difficult to keep going; I got stuck and had to change fields, from languages/international relations to medical technology. I applaud you.

I'm going to go crawl in a corner now after I edit my message. Please, please forgive me.

[Moreta]

Your not an idiot!

And get out of the corner!

Sometimes I have part of a conversation with myself and don't explain myself fully. Heh. But since I've been having the conversation with the person in my head, I expect them to know what I'm talking about when I come in mid-thought.......

[thinker22]

Hi QA, I had a terribly stressful time at work this week too. So I relate. I end up worrying about all I have to do the next time I go in, so I can't even have fun when I'm not at work during the week. Thank the universe this week is over! So looking forward to relaxing and putting work stuff out of my mind.

You have a great weekend!

[Moreta]

Originally Posted by thinker22

Hi QA, I had a terribly stressful time at work this week too. So I relate. I end up worrying about all I have to do the next time I go in, so I can't even have fun when I'm not at work during the week. Thank the universe this week is over! So looking forward to relaxing and putting work stuff out of my mind.

You have a great weekend!

You too.

[grizmom]

Originally Posted by QueenAccountant

I don't have many friends, and I've been trying sooooo freaking hard to make some here at work. Most of the times I end up blowing it b/c they always want to talk about what you should not talk about at work (Social/Economic/Religion/Politics) and since I'm atheist and have very liberal thinking, you can guess how that conversation would go. Since I work with religious conservatives who don't like to be questioned about the whole religion thing, things don't always go over too well.

I have trouble making friends also. I just don't have anything to talk about with "regular" people. I'm on disability so I don't have a job/career to talk about; I don't have any kids to talk about; I don't follow politics, sports, news, or celebrities; and I DESPISE people who gossip. Right now I have one friend that I can talk to about things but she is always busy (single mom) so I only talk to her about once a week and we rarely get together to do anything. My only other "friend" is someone I just met a couple of weeks ago at a support group, so I'm still getting to know her and don't know yet if we will actually become friends or not. I just don't know where to meet people, especially people who don't ask "where do you work?" the second they meet me. Here's how that conversation goes: "Where do you work?" "I don't work" "Are you a housewife?" "No" "What do you do for money?" "I'm on disability" "Why? Are you sick?" "I have bipolar" "OH" and they give me a wide-eyed stare...then they walk away.

Anyhow, I get what you're saying.

[Moreta]

grizmom, you should tell them that you have a Top Secret job, and if you told them, you would have to kill them.

Lately, I've been having the same conversation @ work about having kids, "When are you going to start having kids?" "I'm not going to have any" "But you have to have kids" "No I don't" "Well you'll change your mind when you have one" "I'm not having any kids" "Well that will change in 5 yrs" "I'm pretty sure it's not, since I don't want to pass my bad genetics on" I don't understand why if your in the age of 18-35, that everyone thinks that you need to have kids. You needed to not have kids, but due to the great scientific breakthrough of fertility medicine, you were able to have one....which makes no sense, b/c don't you think that your "god" maybe made you infertile, so you maybe wouldn't procreate?

It's difficult people like this, that make me question why I even try. I need some noise canceling head phones, that I should just wear all the time. And it's like they just don't get it, STOP asking me the same question over and over and over and over. Especially personal questions. Totally not cool.

[grizmom]

Originally Posted by QueenAccountant

grizmom, you should tell them that you have a Top Secret job, and if you told them, you would have to kill them.

Love that!!

Lately, I've been having the same conversation @ work about having kids, "When are you going to start having kids?" "I'm not going to have any" "But you have to have kids" "No I don't" "Well you'll change your mind when you have one" "I'm not having any kids" "Well that will change in 5 yrs" "I'm pretty sure it's not, since I don't want to pass my bad genetics on" I don't understand why if your in the age of 18-35, that everyone thinks that you need to have kids. You needed to not have kids, but due to the great scientific breakthrough of fertility medicine, you were able to have one....which makes no sense, b/c don't you think that your "god" maybe made you infertile, so you maybe wouldn't procreate?

I've had that conversation as well...I did at one point want to have a child, but we (my ex and I) tried for awhile and when I didn't get pregnant I decided that it wasn't meant to be. And you rarely hear men asking other men when they are going to have a child...it's almost always women asking other women.

It's difficult people like this, that make me question why I even try. I need some noise canceling head phones, that I should just wear all the time. And it's like they just don't get it, STOP asking me the same question over and over and over and over. Especially personal questions. Totally not cool.

I agree! Some people have an incessant need to know every intimate detail of everyone else's life. Maybe their life is boring...I don't know, and I don't understand it. It's annoying!

[thinker22]

I know, what is it with the child questions? I get them too. I'm 30 and I don't want to pass on my bad genes. The relatives think I would have this perfect child who would change my mind, and you know, what mother doesn't love her child (blindly mostly), but that's not the point. A rational person who sees oneself and the world clearly cannot help but weep at the thought of bringing another life into this world. Even if they would be intelligent and kind. It's a selfish desire to have a kid to keep you company as you age. It doesn't even work that way anyhow. In the U.S., the kid disappears at age 24 or so and you talk to them on the phone every once in a while. Then you see them again when it's time to put you into a home. Am I a pessimist? Perhaps a touch. I just don't get all excited about the prospect of procreation. For some people it can be done in the right spirit and unselfish in a way, but usually it's done for all the wrong reasons, the worst of which is "because that's what people do at your age." I think if more people lived an examined life, not an accepted script, the world would be a better place. For one, we wouldn't be overpopulated and under-resourced. Okay, enough of my rant. I just feel for all of us who have to be grilled about stages of life crap that is meaningless when you have a mental illness, or more importantly, when you are a conscious human being.