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#1
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So every week I look forward to going to my class at Second City theatre school. I love it and never miss. However, this morning, I was sooo sick that I didn't even feel like waking up or going anywhere. I usually feel like this but that's because of my bipolar. But the one day of the week I have go to my class and I get there by tking a 45 minute train ride and then walking a few city blocks.
Well I feel soo guilty that I missed the class because I feel that I let every one down including my self. I just am mad, sad, and guilty that I didn't go. I know that it is my fault and I should'nt *****, but I was just wondering if any one else ever feels that way. You want to do something but you feel you cant and then your angry, sad, and guilty that you didn't do it.
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![]() amborderie@sbcglobal.net Bipolar Disorder General Anxiety Disorder Obssesive Compulsive Disorder |
#2
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I know how you feel! It sucks to miss something that you look forward to, especially if there aren't many things that you enjoy to begin with. I had to miss my support group this week and it is one of the few things I look forward to; I knew logically that it was better to miss it because mentally I was not in a good place, but I still felt ashamed that I couldn't handle a 2 hour group. I guess it's that part of me that still wants to be able to do regular things like regular people (i.e. people who do not suffer from an illness that limits them). I do fully accept that I am just not able to do everything I'd like to do, but there will always be a part of me that wishes I could. Hope that made sense, and sorry for the long post. Anyhow, you're not alone!!
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From the movie The Hours: "If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too." My blog, "Life and Other Annoyances": http://jennikj.blogspot.com/ ![]() |
![]() romanjames2004
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#3
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That happens to me all the time. I often skip going to activities I normally enjoy when I'm feeling down. Like grizmom, it's generally because I feel like I'm not in a good place, and I expect that I would just be a drag if I showed up. I often force myself to go anyway, and I don't always enjoy it.
Here's what I think you should do though... let it go. What's past is past, and there's no point in beating yourself up about it. That will only make things worse. Cut yourself a little slack for being sick, and move on. ![]() What's worse than being depressed? Being depressed and feeling guilty about something or other. I'm still learning love myself and to let the guilt go.
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Visit my PsychCentral blog!
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![]() romanjames2004
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#4
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I feel this way a lot about small little things. Mainly because I am bored so much. I will have plans to go somewhere and something happens that I can't go and I get really angry at myself and others.
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Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those who matter.. Don’t mind... And those who mind.. Don’t matter." (Dr. Seuss) ![]() |
![]() romanjames2004
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#5
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I can definitely relate. I have such high expectations for myself that I feel like a failure when I commit and don't follow through. I know it is hard, but you have to let go and remind yourself that you can go next week. Take it easy and don't be so hard on yourself! Take care!
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![]() romanjames2004
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#6
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I feel the exact same way. I missed church yesterday just because. And I am trying to get baptized in that church so I really should be there. But I just didnt feel like putting nice clothes on or taking a shower or anything that I would have had to do to make myself presentable. blah
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![]() romanjames2004
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