[gravyyy]

So I know I poated here a few weeks ago about being frustrated with treatment and meds not working and things taking too long to change..... Today my pdoc was getting ready to make a tiny change in meds that he and I both know wasn't going to significantly help so I called him out on it. I told him that I have reached the point of desperation where it's now or never. I need a med overhaul and I need it now. With the meds I'm on It would take like 6 weeks or more to come off of everything. He said, "well you can't make those kind of changes unless you're inpatient." I was like "I am so willing to go... I hate inpatient but I am not going to be alive much longer to worry about it if I don't go and get something done." I told him I know he talks to my boss (his wife/girlfriend) and I know he knows what they have been saying at work just with me being distractible and all over the place and not meeting deadlines. (he didn't deny that!!)

in the end, he thinks it's a great idea and says he nows it's been a struggle and what-not but he feels like he has a good sense of who i am and where he wants treatment to go. He asked me to go to a hospital across the state line where he is on staff and though he wont see me inpatient he talks to both of the other inpatient attendings and will have say-so. He says he can pre arrange everything so it's a smooth transition into the unit. He said I would probably be there 8-10 days but could be 14 (so he has no idea). We agreed that we would wait until after my sisters wedding in 2 weeks and I'll go pretty quick thereafter. Have to run it by work but since he is shagging up with my boss, I may be okay getting the time. Anyway, wish me luck. I'll be around but I feel a sense of relief and a pang of nervousness at once. This is just a ranting post to clear the head. Never gone voluntary inpatient for a major med change before!!!

[perpetuallysad]

Wow, I do wish you luck. I really, really hope this all goes well and you come out better for it.

[eskielover]

I always had to go inpatient (even though I wasn't bipolar) for med changes or even med trials because of the horrible side effects I would end up having from them....then needed me in the hospital to treat anything that might happen (have had some scary side effects within the first 24 hours....or less). Have been given a new med at night & woke up not able to move the next morning....complete stiff joints.

It's worth it to have them monitor & work on the medications to see what works & what doesn't work.

wishing you the best of luck with this plan.

Good for you, gravyyy! Sometimes we just know what we need. Congrats to you for being forthright with it!!!

[gravyyy]

Going inpatient does truly suck, especially that this is a hospital unit and not a private psych hospital which is what have been in in the past. We would have time outside and go to the manor house cafeteria where food was prepared by chefs. Smoke breaks ( I dont smoke but was allowed to go outside with the smokers) allowed us lie 15 minutes to go out and sit in the sun. We also got to go out and have like 1-2 hours of evening activity where we could play volleyball, football, or just lay around and relax.

Hospital unit, not so much from my experience. Locked down 24 hours per day, eating hospital food that is disgusting. No going outside. The only inpatient psych unit I have ever been on was for clinicals during nursing school (so not a patient) but it was awful... smoke room inside which allowed smokw everywhere in the unit, no meaningful group work, just idle time all day essentially. I', scared this unit will be the same. There are no private hospitals for psych here so I don't have a choice but what has your experience been if you've been on a regular psychiatric hospital unit???

[sugahorse1]

I've been to a normal hospital twice. Only for 2 or 3 days though. The first time I meandered wherever I wanted to, and thanks to meds felt fine.
The second time I just slept - I felt awful as I was battling with an OD I'd taken.

I'm glad you have the opportunity to go inpatient. Take it with both hands and do it. I hope the compelte overhaul will help you drastically. Hang in there

[StarryNight]

Your psychiatrist is in a relationship with YOUR BOSS!!!? Geesh. It sounds to me like you need a doc overhaul as well. I surely wouldn't trust him with confidentiality in that situation.

[leah0306]

gravyyy, so sorry to read things are difficult for you right now... myself, i would freak at the thought, ive been where i should have went but family didnt press it used the old "wait and see" approach, its brave of you and shows you have the insight on what you need, i hope it will be a healing experience, that meds and time will help significulity, gravyyy im wishing you the best...take care

[gravyyy]

Yeah Starry.... my Pdoc and my boss have been together long enough to have 2 kids together. They finally just decided to get married so that's happening in November!! It was weird at work tday heaing my boss saying, "Max and I went upstairs to put [a child] to bed and we both ended up falling asleep in the bed with the child." She was telling other stories as well so it was a bit weird. I am sure they tak but I don't care. In fact I am going to try to ask her for 2 weeks off in July so I can do the inpatient stay and I'm thinking if she doesn't understand or tries to say no then I can be like "well go talk to your fiancee for more info!!" So it benefits me too. I'm fine with it.

Still hoping for good things.... my goal is to at least have both feet on the ground by the end of the summer. Thanks all

[sdgirl]

I hope everything goes well for you.
I find I can be pretty darn productive when I'm locked up in a hospital for weeks. I just get some good knitting or drawing, or reading done while I'm there. The solitude really helps me concentrate on anything. But of course it's not a good thing to be there in the first place if I can avoid it because it's expensive to the taxpayers (I'm in Canada).

[sugahorse1]

Hang in there Gravyyy - I hope the chat with your boss goes well

[eskielover]

I've been in both private & hospital psych units & sometimes just in the medical hospital with a psych T that would visit every day. I do think that if feels like more freedom in the provat psych hopital, but it reality, they were both pretty much the same.......after OD's, being in a closed unit was the same no matter which hospital....but most times I would end up in the medical area then get transferred over to the psych anyway.

It's good to have the medical hospital available when going through med change if you have a bad reaction or something.......wishing you the best of luck with this.

Good luck, gravyyy.