[Lauru]

The depression, is licking at my heels. I can feel it starting way in the back of my mind. I hope I can stop it from taking me over. I just feel sad and tired and blah. Nothing seems good anymore. I just don't care.

This sucks. I wish I could talk to T, but she's gone. I miss her.

[BlackPup]

You are not alone, we are all here for you.
Can you see your doctor to up your meds?
Try to get outside, try to exercise, try to talk to people...
But mostly, don't give yourself a hard time... some days even waking up is hard work.
Love and best wishes... K

[sugahorse1]

Surround yourself with positive. Keep talking to us. Go out into the sun. Don't be alone.

I'm sorry you feel like this, but we are here for you

[Shakti]

Realize, too, (and this sounds ridiculous as hell when you are getting depressed) that you cannot stop it, but you CAN grab onto it and let it take you (it will grab onto you regardless, just don't grasp back--it's not your friend and in time it will let go, but not as quickly if the claws of your mind are holding it close to yourself too). Try to accept it, let it come through you and then let it go when you can, as soon as you see an opening.

Don't forget your "toolbox" (your coping skills). They are important. And we are all here or you should you want to talk, vent, yell, whatever--but that's a given.

[greylove]

Shakti.....I just have to say that was a very well written post. I've gone back and re-read it more than once. I just think the wording was so well put, and the thoughts contained in it were extraordinary.

Lauru, this will pass. You're reaching out early and getting the understanding and support you need......Your T may be gone, but you've got all of us .......take care.......greylove

[thinker22]

Hi Lauru. I have missed you. I'm sorry to hear you feel a bad spell coming on. It seems bleak and I know it's easy for me to say that this too shall pass, but it does. Our moods are ever shifting with the winds. I've had depression from marginal to severe since October when my last manic period ended. Some days are horrific and other days, like today, make it seem bearable and like all the rest of that was just a bad dream. Staying in the moment is the hardest thing to do, but it's what I strive for to keep me from getting stuck in these anxious and depressed feelings. Keeping busy is how I trick my brain from going to the deep dark thoughts. But medication and therapy is certainly what's allowing me to even have that coping skill.

Is there any way for you to find a new therapist? Is she gone as in left her practice? Starting all over sucks. I know. But you do need a professional to talk to. We're here for you in the meantime. Stay in touch.

Big hugs

[Lauru]

Shakti,

I like your tagline in your signature. My illness is lying to me. I have to remember that. The darkness just seems so real and unending when you are in it.

[Lauru]

Originally Posted by thinker22

Hi Lauru. I have missed you. I'm sorry to hear you feel a bad spell coming on. It seems bleak and I know it's easy for me to say that this too shall pass, but it does. Our moods are ever shifting with the winds. I've had depression from marginal to severe since October when my last manic period ended. Some days are horrific and other days, like today, make it seem bearable and like all the rest of that was just a bad dream. Staying in the moment is the hardest thing to do, but it's what I strive for to keep me from getting stuck in these anxious and depressed feelings. Keeping busy is how I trick my brain from going to the deep dark thoughts. But medication and therapy is certainly what's allowing me to even have that coping skill.

Is there any way for you to find a new therapist? Is she gone as in left her practice? Starting all over sucks. I know. But you do need a professional to talk to. We're here for you in the meantime. Stay in touch.

Big hugs

Thinker, I've missed you too.
I have a backup T to see till my regular T comes back. She will only be gone a month. I am trying to stay in the moment. Trying not to worry about the future and what is awaiting me. But I need all the help I can get. Everybody here is so nice and helpful. It truly does help. Hugs to you all...

[Shakti]

Originally Posted by Lauru

Shakti,

I like your tagline in your signature. My illness is lying to me. I have to remember that. The darkness just seems so real and unending when you are in it.

I wrote it on my hand during my last episode when I got really desperate. It was a sad day for me and a sad situation, and that is what got me through it. Now it's like a mantra: My illness is lying to me.

[mommasuesue]

Laura I know what your going through ! I too can feel the depression approaching when it happens to me but hang in there we are here for you !!!