[BNLsMOM]

Bathing suit shopping, even with your T's encouragement while depressed after putting on 30+ lbs on psych meds is not to be attempted while depressed.

We're going away for a few days next week, and I just want to send my family away without me so I can curl up and shrivel into the piece of crap I feel like.

I am not doing well.

[Moreta]

I hate bathing suit shopping in general. I usually just take a cotton pair of shorts and a t-shirt when I'm going swimming. I too am going on a trip with my mother this weekend, but instead of dreading it, I'm trying to be optimistic. The hardest thing to do when you're depressed is imagining that you will have fun on your vacation, but then again, you'll never know unless you try.

Hang in there.

BNLsMOM!!! That would be... just yikes while depressed! It's hard enough when one isn't!!! And to add to it, bathing suits run ridiculously small. And I say this as a very small size wearing person. Can easily double the size (triple? can't remember, it's been awhile) before I even get close to fitting in it. It's ridiculous.

Like QueenAccountant, I'd recommend an alternate approach. I went with a pair of... guess they'd be called river shorts. Thin nylon that dries very quickly -- more quickly than traditional bathing suit material actually. (And they have built in undies! ) And on the top, a colorful exercise bra/top. It's both. But for more modesty, one could go with the same kind of thing in a top with built in bra from the exercise section. They're nylon too.

(Kind of related. I refused to even look at regular bras for 20 years, always just going with the exercise type. Not because I like them though! But because it really set me off one time finding one that fit and it having a pic of seen pre-teen on the tag!!! I was furious at the assumption. I was a full grown adult thankyouverymuch! It traumatized me enough that I couldn't even try without crying and running out. Ugh.)

[BNLsMOM]

I was looking at Land's End stuff because they have flattering styles and shorts styles mix and match. I went to Sears where they carry it and couldn't find my size, but then went online and got confused. I finally chose something that I sort of liked, and when I went to check out it said that there was an item in my cart that was no longer available. Someone must have bought the last one while I was online looking for the other piece of the set.

Ugh, life is so confuseing anyway right now. I might go with my mom to a store tomorrow to see what they have left for swimsuits. Or I might just say screw it. I have one suit that it going to fall apaprt soon, but will get me through the next few days.

When we get back, we will take my son to get his MRI and then wait for those results.

[BNLsMOM]

You know how crazy I am? I felt faintly suicidal on the way home from the store. It was like an automatic thought. "Well, I can't find a suit. I should just kill myself."

I am not going to do anything because I know how stupid it would be for me to hurt myself and my family that way, but I feel crazy just for having the thought. What sane person thinks that way? I am sure many women have stood in the dressing room with an unflattering suit on and said, "OMG, I am going to kill myself." But who really means it in the small moment it takes to think it?

Just me, because I am crazy.

[Moreta]

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

You know how crazy I am? I felt faintly suicidal on the way home from the store. It was like an automatic thought. "Well, I can't find a suit. I should just kill myself."

I've done that when I have went shoe shopping in the past. You are not alone.

The bad part is when I have those thoughts when I'm driving, then I start looking for a bridge to go off of. I used to think I should just drive into the columns, but someone in on of my group therapy sessions, said that it's better to drive off the bridge. She scared me a bit.

[seventyeight]

victoria's secret is also a good place to shop for suits, because you can by the suit based on your bra/underwear size. i've done this in the past, and the stuff fits well. good luck!

[blueoctober]

[quote=BNLsMOM; You know how crazy I am? I felt faintly suicidal on the way home from the store. It was like an automatic thought. "Well, I can't find a suit. I should just kill myself."]

You aren't crazy! I have found that my mind can go to that place as well and it is disturbing, but the fact that you recognized it is a good sign.

Gaining weight when you aren't trying to (not that I have ever experienced that) is brutal and I found it doubly worse when it was from meds. I gained 50 lbs. from meds and it crushed my self esteem. Meds effect people differently and unfortunately for me I gained weight even though I exercised, ate well, blah, blah, blah.

Please go easy on yourself and buy whatever makes you comfortable. When I went to Mexico with the extra 50 lbs. I bought 2 suits that had "rouging" on them (not sure how it's spelled), but it's where the material is gathered. This help hide my imperfections (I gained weight in my middle). Tankinis were also good. What also helped me was to go to smaller bathing suit specialty store that were privately owned (not a chain). The sales clerks in there made me feel at ease and found me the 2 suits that I bought.

Originally Posted by seventyeight

victoria's secret is also a good place to shop for suits, because you can by the suit based on your bra/underwear size. i've done this in the past, and the stuff fits well. good luck!

Hehe, funny you should say that, seventyeight, because that's where I got over my bra issue. Was on a trip to the "big city", took a deep breath and said, "well, they're always saying one needs a good measurement", and these guys should know from bras! It worked! Shock of shocks. And this from someone who normally avoids the Big Companies like the plague. So yeah, though I've no bathing suit experience here, it seems a good rec.

And BNLsMOM, yeah, I get those impulses sometimes over the stupidest things too. Usually it's something bigger, but sometimes? Seriously?
So, rest assured, it's not just you.

[sugahorse1]

just swim in t-shirt and shorts - much easier.
I find the pants part hard to fit - they hardly go over your actual bum!

[BNLsMOM]

I went out and found a suit. A nice one. Today is a better day.

Yea BNLsMOM!!!

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

I went out and found a suit. A nice one. Today is a better day.

That's great enjoy yourself!