How I Feel Today. . . Open to all.

I got to see my nieces last nite. I was so happy

I am feeling well, I'm not quite sure how I feel today. I just started school again and have quickly realized that there are a lot more people in this big world than I pictured. I have a totally different perspective now that I am older. I don't look at people the way I used to. I sit in my classes and wonder how many other people are like me. A few people in my interpersonal communication class this morning told the class that they are ocd. I envy them, being able to say it out loud. I would like to have said, "hey, guess what?! I am bp2. Just thought I would let you know, k?" And everyone would probably have run from the room, terrified that I would have opened fire or pulled out a huge knife or something. i hate stereotypes. I commend them for telling the world, I am just jealous of the nice treatment they received for it. Oh, well. There is a time and place for everything, they say. I guess I am just confused by others' behavior. What's new?

oh, and one more thing: Does anyone else think that guys look funny in skinny pants, or is it just me? They are everywhere. Not to be judgemental or anything, it just looks, well, funny. things have changed in the past seven years.

Yall have a good nite.

polyonamous SORRY. THAT'S AWFUL!!! I HOPE HE GETS BETTER. I lost my dog five years ago, so I know how you feel. I'm sorry I really hope he recovers.

Mady: Yes, I think guys look funny in skinny pants. I would think the whole cutting off your circulation would be a turn off for the guys buying them, but then, the other extreme of saggy baggy pants looks equally ridiculous. It's like guys, hey, why not try getting a pair that fits you and is comfortable. Genius, I know. Both extremes are adolescent from my POV.

How I feel today: Good. I got enough sleep such that I didn't need to go back to sleep after my alarm went off, but believe me, I tried. I'm always scared of the morning. I really need to write out a schedule for myself so I don't get intimidated by the hours of the day. Had therapy. Got a good idea for how to deal with the morning...planning it on the night before and using my mind to force me to do whatever activity I planned so I can feel like I accomplished something and didn't waste the whole day.

to everyone.

Innerzone I am so glad you are feeling pretty good today despite your loneliness. I am also thankful for the forum and for you.

Amandas256 that is wonderful that you had a good session with your T. I am glad you are in good spirits.

MadyJohannah I'm sure going back to school can be very overwhelming. That is cool for the 2 people who admitted to be OCD and I agree, I don't think people would react so well if you told them you were bipolar. Life sucks that way for us. I feel like bipolar is an automatic crazy sentence.

Thinker22 I am glad you are feeling good and got enough sleep last night. Sometimes that is all it takes. I can understand needing a schedule of some sort to keep one occupied. I would benefit from this too. My problem would be sticking to it ... LOL.

polyonamous, I hope your dog gets better. It's always tough; when my 15-1/2 year old terrier got heart disease, it wasn't long before I had to say goodbye. I have to say, I cried more than when my dad died. But I can look back now and be grateful for 15-1/2 years of unconditional love. You can't say that about too many people.

How I feel today...tired, depressed and *****y. I have a co-worker who is a snide ***** and she doesn't make any effort to be a team player. Actually, she's just plain mean. Oh well, I'm not going to talk to my boss about it, so I guess I'll just turn up my ipod and ignore her.

Just the same old thing. Depressed, impulsive urges, really wanting a drink

Love for Lauru

Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks! :

(((((denise)))))
I had that feeling of there not being anything of "me" left when i was on tricyclics, have changed my meds and feel much better now. I hope it works out ok for you hon.

Dog is still going and seems a bit improved.. so fingers crossed for a good recovery!

Today i woke up in a great mood. I've got to clean my house because it is a VERY big mess (boo!) and then I'm going to try to get back into cross stitching. I hope I can sit still long enough to do it! Lol

I took the day off today. Hopefully it doesn't come back to bite me.

Today I'm feeling... how do I put this... um... disproprotionately strong feelings of an intimate nature... far above and beyond my norm. That's my bipolar talking. I'm sure of it. I hate it. A lot.

So, drugged up on clonazepam or not, I need to get out of the house. Maybe I'll take my psychiatrist friend's advice and go do some laundry or something. I'm unmotivated, but yes, that sounds like a good idea.

So, off I go to the laundromat. Yippee.

Hoping everyone is well [enough] today...

Lauru: Hope you were able to make it through the night in a non destructive manner.. Hate that this has persisted so long for you and I hope the cycle will flip for you soon!

Poly: What's a tricyclic? Glad to hear your dog is doing better =)

Amanda: So happy to hear your in a great mood, see so little of that on here it's good to know that it IS possible. Thanks =)

Medicated: You said "disproprotionately strong feelings of an intimate nature" not sure I know exactly what your referring to but I THINK I do and have experienced some of that myself this morning (if we're referring to the same feeling) Getting out of the house can be good, hope you are able to make all you want out of this day!

Me: Well I overslept this morning which sucks, kept waking up early and just couldnt make myself get out of bed and so kept falling back asleep. Yesterday was a mix of Mania and Depression, so far today I feel ok but my brain hasn't really begun to function on its normal level. Im only on my first cuppa joe. I have stopped taking my Depakote and Seroquel again as I am NOT HAPPY about the weight gain and increased appetite..

I believe I have finally achieved the status of being able to be considered a whole person (weight wise) and it's far past time to lose again. Hoping today I can get myself motivated to clean/organize my dad's garage as he is unable but we'll see and hoping to make it all day without eating or at least not eating anything of caloric value.... Sending good day wishes and positive thoughts for an acceptable day to you all....

PT52 I hate people like that. Hoping you feel better soon.

Lauru I just wish this depression would end for you. You deserve to have better days.

Polyonamous I'm glad to hear your dog is doing better. Hoping for a full recovery.

Amandas256 Wonderful to hear you are in a great mood. Way to go on your productiveness today!!!

Medicated I hope you enjoy your day off.

Denise26 be careful with quitting your meds, I would hate to see you crash. I understand the weight gain issue as I suffer from it to. I hope all goes well for you.


Me, I'm still feeling lethargic for a better word. Don't want to do anything but sleep. Unfortunately sleep eludes me at this point in time. Although I have not been up for very long. Still hanging in there, that is all I can do.

how do I feel today? most days I have an answer but today I am just here. not too happy not too sad. in fact (for the first time in a looooong time...) i even straightened my hair and put on makeup and heels today. hhhmmm... maybe im feeling "normal"???? hope everyone here has an AWESOME day!!

I feel good as usual (ever since starting Cymbalta), but I really want to accomplish some comedy writing today. I already tried, but it's all coming out too seriously and documentary-like instead of conversational and fun. Maybe I should try to do something else today. I'm not in a silly mood...but I wish I was.

Depressed. As usual. I feel like a total loser who can't even get a minimum wage job. I have wasted my education and wasted my life by having bipolar. It has held me back so much. 20 years and all I have done is fall, over and over again. Nothing gained, nothing earned, nothing left.

I'm doing much better but having a wee bit of trouble with my motivation. Need to get off the box!

Lauru: You are definitely NOT a loser, if you are then so am I. My xtdoc says we have more obstacles to overcome than most and should be proud of ANY accomplishment even if it's as small as just waking up the next day. Have you tried to apply for SSDI yet? I am sorry your still so depressed and wish I had advice for you but I know that for me all I can do is wait for it to change on it's own....

Lonegael: Glad to hear you are doing much better, sorry you lack motivation but perhaps today is a day for you to take it easy?

Me: Well I overselpt today, my dad is going for a CAT and Brain MRI this morning and I had intended to go with, missed that boat. hope all goes well but I wont know for a few hours so I am a ball of anxiety waiting on him to get back. Also I have not taken my Depakote in a couple of days, is anyone familiar with this drug? I have a few oddities I'd like to ask about if so....

I actually SPOKE to my x tdoc yesterday for the first time since the end of June and our last session. SSDI was having trouble sending her paper work to fill out so I took it upon myself to call her n find out what was up. She said she had already filled out and returned the paper work and would call SSDI to make sure they got it. She asked how I was and I gave her a brief rundown of the last month or so then she said she had to go. I was a nervous wreck by the time I got off the phone and had to take an ativan... Now to call SSDI again today =P

Lauru, I totally second Denise's response. And I'm in the same boat job-wise. It's hard not to feel crappy about it, but it really *is* the economy. I tend to take it personally too, but am trying to see that I really shouldn't. (I do have one tiny job, but it is only for very few hours --sometimes none-- per week, so the search goes on.) I find it helpful to take small breaks and not actually look every day, to keep it from feeling like an unrelenting squash down. Do you take little breaks for your own mental health?

Today...well so far, tired(!) Takes quite awhile to wake up in the mornings. I'm kind of apprehensive of getting lost again today going to the jobsite. Got lost yesterday, both going and coming(!) On different routes(!) Unintentional different routes, mind you. (Yeah, despite Googling and very good maps!) It happens so much I'm starting to get a bit of a complex about it, lol. (Seriously though, I am!)

kadesgirl09 way to go on having a little pep in your step

thinker22 it is great that you are still feeling good. I am so glad Cymbalta is working so well for you. I hope you enjoyed the rest of your day.

Lauru Wishing you better.

lonegael glad you are doing better. I hope your motivation kicks in.

Denise26 sorry you missed going with your dad, I hope all goes well. That is nice you got to talk to your old tdoc. Hoping all goes well with your SSDI.

Innerzone I can relate to the feeling of hard to get up in the morning. I'm definitely not a morning person. I hope you don't have as much difficulty finding the job sight today. (crossing fingures)

I don't really know how I feel today. Got up and got the kiddo off to school this morning and then went back to bed. I stayed there until noon. Really didn't want to get up then, but I couldn't sleep no more. Now I'm on here, so that is pretty much my day.

I was feeling fine until I did something to upset my husband - such a little thing, but he never gets angry with me and now I'm preoccupied and obsessing about it and withdrawn. I didn't even know that what I did would upset him. It really was inconsequential and something that he never, ever, indicated that he wanted to be a part of. Oh well, he'll get over, I guess. I wonder if I can just hide from him all night. lol

i have so much to do... ssssssoooooo much paperwork. cant seem to get motivated though... this whole week I have done nothing but I have the energy to do anything. im so lazy!!!! i just keep putting off tasks that need to be done. so instead I do nothing. I did put a load of whites in the wash this morning (YEAH) but nothing since then... and I really dont mind at all. its nice to do nothing for a few days.... until my hubby finds out... eeekkk!!

Ok so now I am feeling bored and depressed and in serious need of some self-medication...........

I'm feeling... drugged up on klonopin. And remorseful for some things I've done which I probably shouldn't have... but I haven't exactly been in my right mind lately, so I'm trying to not be too hard on myself... but I still have my regrets, you know?

Yeah I know that feelin Mediacted.....