Frustration

I am hoping that I am not beginning another episode. I don't even feel like I have had the chance to recover from last time. It is like being in the ocean and having the waves knock me down and then they keep coming before I can get up again.

I hope not also. I want you to have a period of normalcy (whatever that is), or at least some time to rest and not battle with the illness. I know that ocean feeling. I'm terrified of another episode. The slightest change in my mood and I think, "Oh no, it's happening again. How long will this one last?"

I think I am cycling daily. In the morning, I am low energy and no motivation. By the time it is bed time, I have tons of energy (Mentally, at least) and can't get to sleep. Last night I didn't get to sleep until 4:30 a.m. and then only slept for a little while. Spent the day in a fog until 11 and then snapped awake. I am feeling like I might not sleep again tonight, but I am going to take 50mg of Seroquel to knock myself out. If that doesn't work, I don't know what I will do.

Fingers crossed for your Seroquel working. I don't know if this would be of any help, but... You've pretty much described a very typical energy pattern for me. I don't even tend to think of it as cycling, but more... oh what did they used to call it? Biorhythms? The way some people just tend to be "morning people" or "night owls" or tend to have a low spot of energy near the same time everyday?
I've got what I think of as my "real" cycling, where there is a pretty relentless tilt in one direction or the other. Then something I think of as "cycles within cycles", where things get bouncy in the midst of the larger picture. Then just plain old biorhythms. I don't know how scientific this is, but it's just the way I think of it. It helps me worry less, like short term things might just be short term things and not necessarily heading somewhere big. That said, there are times... just a certain feeling I get that has proven to be a pretty good indicator of something bigger on the horizon. But that doesn't happen as often as the wobbles, and helps me worry less. Does this make any sense? (It might not! )
That said, everyone knows their own indicators and typical daily energy fluctuations best. Just a way to look at it if it sounds familiar.

Sweet to you, BNLsMOM!

Seroquel (25mg) used to make me sleep up to 14 hours a day, so it probably will knock you out. At least I hope you get a full night's sleep, but not more than you want.