[barr]

good morning i would like some help with something that happened the other day , my wife and i have not really been getting along that well. and yesterday she said i should grateful to her for taking care of me for 10 me years while i could not hold a job due to my bipolar. wtf

[blueoctober]

People can say things that are awful. I have been guilty of saying things that I know would hurt my partner. It's not right and it's natural to feel hurt. If you think that you can't discuss this without "one upping" her statement perhaps write her a letter and tell her how you feel. Perhaps couples counseling and individual counseling is necessary.

Every relationship has it's stresses and yes being with a person that is diagnosed may have different issues, but I think most couples could benefit from counseling. Does you wife also have a good support network of her own? Perhaps she has been feeling overwhelmed.

[vjdragonfly]

People on the outside don't usually seem to get what it is like to be bipolar. They don't see it as an illness and the stress we go through dealing with it. I'm sorry your partner said such a hurtful thing. I agree with blueoctober that therapy may be useful. I wish you the best and that it was only said in the heat of the moment. Not that it makes you feel any better.

Totally agree with vjdragonfly. Regret to say I've heard some doozies directed my way too. They hurt. No two ways about it. They truly don't understand what they say, or even the hurt it brings. Though a very amicable end, I did bring these up in the process of divorce. He thought he was "joking". I let him know, no, definitely not funny. To make light of what I'd beat myself up for years and years and years over? I've got a big sense of humor, but that kind of pain? Nothing funny about it, even with the darkest sense of humor.

It is hard for those who are with us. No denying that. Sometimes they lash out. It hurts, omg, it hurts. On one hand, it's understandable in that they don't understand how it affects us, but... Has she educated herself on the subject? That can be a big help, but it's also something that someone may not think they're able to deal with. Where is she in this? It can help in understanding her comments.

[NuckingFutz]

I am sorry she said this. Like it has been said, people on the outside do not know what is like on the inside. The remark about you supposed to be greatful kinda compounds the problem. In sickness and in health doesn't mean she gets to say how you should feel about the situation. Maybe she needs to arm herself with knowledge of bipolar. Hang in there.

[barr]

good morning i would like to thank everyone for teir help and wisdom. in the heat of the moment its hard for me to think straight. thank you barr

[owllover99]

Well, I guess I'm supposed to be nice and everything, but sorry this pi$$e$ me off. Like you haven't contributed anything to the marriage. I been there. My first husband who didn't want me to work then tell me he made all the money and everything is his etc. We split up when I got a job. Maybe you can't work. Have you tried SSI? I know it's a marriage and you must get along and you're not working because you can't and the emphasis is on can't. But it's not fair to you to take this. I took a lot of stuff for a lot of stupid reasons. I agree that she needs a bipolar education. Look into help for you moneywise. That little sentence has been in her mind a long time. She just finally said it. It wasn't just off the wall. Even if she said it was. Hugs, Owl

[Amandas256]

I've been in similar situations. My husband told me that I am a burden. It cuts deep when the person you love says something mean to you. Especially when you can't help having a mental illness! Some people just don't understand and never will. Hang in there. Try to blow it off, even though I know that it's easier said than done!

[barr]

thank you very much i hope you are doing well