[mommasuesue]

lately i feel so blah i dont even want to get on my com,puter !!! I feel lonely and depressed but i dont let anyone know how i feel because they will suggest therapy which i have already gone thru for 4 years . Im tired of it being summer time I just want to curl up in a blanket and sleep . It seems like the only thing that puts a smile on my face is my new grandson but when he starts fussing and crying I dont like to hear it . And lately for some reason im argueing with myself in my head !? so whats that about>? sry this is so long I guess I need someone that can help me and understand whats going on with me Im bipolar 2 and i have anxiety and attchment disorder and adjustment disorder and from what I have read maybe I have something else because why would i being argueing with myself in my head? It tells me to shut up and stuff like that . does anyone have this problem?

So much of this is so familiar.... And the summer? Seems pretty popular, but usually feels more like an endurance event -- I'd just like to estivate, please! (like hibernation, but summer)

On the argument/shut up thing, I can't really say. I do know that I sometimes tell myself to shut up out loud. Out loud. Yeah. Great, huh?! There are a lot of things I'm still putting the pieces of the puzzle together and starting to understand. Ok. Here comes the word. Therapy. The reason I mention this is from personal experience of doing therapy in the past where, although bits were helpful, a large part felt like it wasn't going anywhere.... like barking up a tree that, though there was plenty of fruit there (so to speak, lol), it wasn't helping much with the here and now (or the there and then!) Have just started again and glad to be aware of that dynamic for this time around.

Reason to mention it? Just wondering if you've really conveyed your most current concerns to your T. Because sure, they're there to help guide things, but maybe it's going along a path that isn't particularly relevant to the things most pressing to you now. Just thought I'd throw that out there on the chance that it might be relevant to your situation.

to my fellow estivator! Hope you can get un-blah-ed soon!

[Hunny]

Mommasuesue,

Just checking in...

[kdclement]

Hello,
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time today. I can totally relate exactly to what you are saying. I spent all week last week arguing with my head as my body had spasms from the anxiety. I find it weird that most of the time I love being around kids and their cries don't bother me as much as when I'm depressed. I have learned that when this happens to me it's part of my PTSD/anxiety and once I talk about the problem I take away it's power over me. Not to say it just automatically goes away but it does slowly get me back to reality. I'm glad you were able to share what's happening to you. Can I ask what meds you are on? It's a relief sometimes just knowing we're not alone in how we feel. I'm sending virtual hugs and hope you feel better.