Good thoughts please...

Hi everyone. Very stressful morning today.... making first court appearance re: BF's breakdown/dissociation thing that landed him in jail. Can't help but be nervous over mental issues and the court system. If anyone has good thoughts, prayers, whatever is your mode, we would very much appreciate them..... thank you sooooo much. Never been through anything like this before.

I'll be thinking of you. Good luck today.

good thoughts and prayers coming your way. let us know how it went, k?

Peace, calm, wisdom and understanding vibes for you, bf and the judge, too.

sending some positive energy.

good luck

Good luck.

Sending positive energy and thoughts out to you (((((Innerzone)))))) Good luck!

Thank you all. So very sweet and much appreciated.
Well, we're back and unfortunately, I can't say that it went particularly well. Seems they added a second felony charge to what he was charged with when arrested (booked? Not quite sure when that happens in the process). Then, in calling to obtain a public defender, they said 24 hours must pass. With the weekend, that means we can't even set up an appointment with one till Monday. Great. More time to totally stress over it. Obviously we'll be insisting on a psych eval (and he does have a history of mental issues that not oncommonly lead to such a state, this just reached a new level). Still, with the attitude of laymen towards mental issues (and who among us doesn't know this all too well?...) along with the level of the charges it is beyond scary.

I feel like crying. Hard. Even though I have a hard time doing that anymore, my insides are howling it. We are just feeling so powerless, very very scared and with such loss of control over our lives. I've felt powerless so strongly and many times in the past, and this just trumps those times in such a huge way. Words fail.

I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. I'll be praying for things to work out for you. Sorry you have to wait to get an appointment with a lawyer. Wishing I could just make everything better for you.

I am sorry that it didn't go better. Please try to take it easy this weekend and perhaps you and your boyfriend could do something special.

Awww!!! I wish I could take all the bad feelings away.
I know I talk way too much, and give way too much advice, but I really believe you don't have to feel powerless or let anyone else control your lives. So...

I know you have a lot to absorb over the weekend, but it might be a blessing in disguise. There really are things you can do to feel less powerless. My brother is a lawyer so I've heard stories about public defenders. Most don't spend a lot of time on cases because they don't make money on them. So it will be up to you two to be your own advocates. You can get prepared by writing everything down - the charges, the circumstances, the symptoms he has - everything you can think of. Try to put dates and times as much as you can. Follow up with the attorney every day if you have to. If he (she) says he will order a psych evaluation, make sure that it actually gets done; don't just take his word for it. Actually, don't take his word on anything - get verification. When he files documents with the court, make sure that you read them thoroughly and that you understand them.

Try to become informed about the laws and what your options are, plus time frames - some people lose cases because their attorney didn't file documents in a timely manner.

Anyway, talked way too much, but this is what I would do (did do, a long time ago)..

I cannot offer any legal advice, so I am just wishing you lots of strenght.

I'm sorry it didn't go better this morning and that you're really worried I'm going to continue sending tons of good luck vibes your way Hope you can do something relaxing this weekend.

Say too much???!!!! No indeed! Thank you so very very much! I have been mulling over past... diagnoses, behavior, research on what it would likely be called, the wording of the laws (basically, that part sucks, but they do say "knowingly". Will definitely be writing down, as well as timeline of the event, a strange comment he made even many hours later ("I should have been in there." -- seemed very odd at the time (and he doesn't even remember saying it). Processing over the next few days, small bits came back. He said that he was so scared of what he was starting to realize happened, he had a moment when he realized that was the only place he was safe from himself at that time -- and rather chillingly, "...and they had taken away my belt and shoelaces..."

I am seriously wondering if we really should get a paid atty., but I wouldn't know where to begin. Had put in a call to NAMI a couple weeks ago to see if they had any resource ideas on this and never got a call back (yes, this po's me and I'm going to follow up). Surely this cannot be the first time a mental state has resulted in arrest(!!!) and if there are lawyers more skilled and knowlegeable in this realm, I sure as heck want to know who they are(!)

I contacted NAMI after I was fired and they weren't able to help me on the legal end of things; actually they weren't able to help me at all...

How are you doing Innerzone?

Thank you so much for asking, blueoctober. Have been making some progress (or at least doing some things, which feels better than complete bewilderment!) having received some very helpful information. Mostly trying not to think about it (haha), outside of gathering info and acting on it, though that doesn't seem to help in the waking up a couple hours early every day in a panic department. Sigh. All we can do is what we can do. It's hard to accept, but true. Trying to keep that in mind. Come hell or high water, I will stand by him, as his support is invaluable and unprecedented for me. (we'll both be keeping an eye on each other, which is totally new to both of us... to have someone that cares enough and understands enough to do so -- With care. Without judgement. Wouldn't trade that for the world. Tearing up just thinking about it. Decades without this, emphasizes just how precious and rare it is).

Guess we'll see. Have some good info, putting it into action and guess we'll just see.... Meanwhile, holding steady. It is easier for me to advocate for another than for myself. By far. Also, TG for meds and the fact that my psych person is aware of and has indicated to call if it gets too bad before next scheduled appt. Deep breath.

Hugs to you Really glad you and your BF have each other and that you have something so special together Glad you've got some helpful information now too. Good luck!!!! ((((((Innerzone)))))))

I'm sorry things are so hard - thinking of you though, and wherever I can, I will offer you my support.