Anxious today.

Well, at least it is clearing out the sludge. I took my pulse because my heard was beating out of my chest. It is 105bpm. Rather high, considering my resting is usually somewhere in the low70s.

I have the paranoia today too.

I keep putting two and two together and I come up with the usual solution, higher doses of my meds are too much and lower doses are too little and I experience symptoms.

Ack. Just get through till Friday... Maybe the p-doc has a different solution to 2+2.

Sorry you're having a hard day. Remember to breathe.

Breathing is good.

I'm always amazed at how much I actually hold my breath.

Sending you peaceful thoughts (((((((BNLsMOM)))))))) Are you able to go out for a long walk? I find that physical exercise can help re-channel some of that nervous energy. Good luck at your appointment on Friday

I used my PRN, but it hasn't really worked. It doesn't help that my dog is barking like he wants to kill someone. The dog walker from across the street is walking the nieghbor's dog. Apparently, my dog doesn't like him. I keep thinking that someone is at my door and I am having small panic attacks when I hear cars go by.

I hate days like this. Right now I am thinking that the dog walker is going to come here and try to kill me, but I will feel worried about not opening the door because if he isn't going to kill me, he'll think I am a jerk.

It is irrational, I know, but it still feels bad.

Anxiety duking it out with the sludge. When "playing nice" one overtaking the other in turns. Or, more often, not playing nice by ganging up in simultaneous unison. Either way, it totally sucks! That's where I am too lately, so lots of empathetic to you, BNLsMOM! (and how ironic is it that just today I'm working a list of my more paranoid..."things"?! -- to clarify/expand upon some stuff that came up in appt. yesterday) Hope you and your doc can work out a good balance Friday -- thinking of you!!!
Yup.

Ah, can't escape that logic, eh? I know. I have been kind of like that also. Sigh* Brreathe, definitely. I also find I hold my breathe and grit my teeth. There is a social worker that I am really angry at. My P-doc roomate was saying it looked like i was going to kill someone when I got back from a meeting about her. I said don't be ridiculous. I haven't tried to kill anyone since I was five.
when he stared at me, I looked right at him and said, since then, I've only succeeded.
He thought it was a good joke.
I'm not sure I was joking. Well, I haven't comitted homicide, no, but I was coldly angry, and that can set off the paranoia. Believe me. So then I start wondering if I said too much, was it the wrong type of joke, is he going to think I'm completely insane (yes, but he knows I know I am, which puts me ahead of 80% of the rest of the staff) until I get so anxious I want to puke... I hate hypomania.

I hope this lifts soon for you. DO you have any anti-anxiety meds you take? It's terrible feeling so out of control. I can agree to really focus on your breathing and keeping your mind occupied with healthy thoughts. Keep busy, within an area you know you are safe in. If your home is your safe area, don't feel bad about wanting to stay there for a while. It will get better

Just Seroquel.

I hope the Seroquel can offer you some relief and allow you to sleep a bit more peacefully.