To med or not to med....

I've struggled with meds for about 15 years now and I wanted to share some of my experiences... I hope it will be an inspiration to keep on going through the problems with meds to find something that is worth it.
Despite all the problems I have had, I now have meds that make my life better

Mis-diagnosis: like a lot of BPers, I was misdiagnosed for many years, I was on drugs that didn't work - even made things worse - sometimes at doses and combinations that caused nasty side effects...

Post diagnosis
Not enough drugs: my first experience of the ***right*** drugs were prescribed and managed by a doctor who didn't really have a clue, things improved, but were far from good, the dose was too low, and I needed additional drugs to make things worse... I was putting up with side effects and still not better...

Stopping meds: I've lost count of the number of times (more than both hands at least!!!) I have stopped meds, and everytime its ended in disaster...

Finding the right drugs - a hard but worthwhile journey. I got a new pdoc and we tried lots of different drugs, some with really crappy side effects. It took a long time coz I got every side effect possible and was not responsive to heaps of meds!
Now I have a combination of drugs that works with managable side effects... ... I promise it was worth it all...

I'm so glad you stuck with it until you found the right combo of meds ((((((((((BlackPup)))))))))))))) Well done!!!!

Well done on being so patient - you see, in the end it does pay off!

Yes it is worth it. My pdoc had me swallowing 80mg of Geodon twice a day and I could barely stand up from the dizziness. Thank god I got rid of him! Now my combo is working great and even though things are falling apart around me, I still have a smile on my face!

Hey - a smile on your face - as long as it's genuine - is a major achievement!

Skully, i second what suga said, a smile is an achievement of note!!!

I hope that it helps anyone who is struggling with meds to know that its can get better... at times it seemed impossible. Also, if your doc is not listening to you then GET A NEW ONE!!!!!

You've definitely inspired me to stick with my meds...

ATM, I'm doing great so " I don't need them", but yeah, that's just how it goes...

Thanks BlackPup♥

Trippin, so know what you mean!!!! I remember one time my pdoc said, we just got things working, why do you want to mess things up, it really hit home - made me think over whether stopping the meds was self sabotaging....

Hope your mood stays good

To go into more detail:
1. my unemployment runs out Dec.6th
2. my soical secuirty hearing was placed on hold due to missing paperwork from my pdoc's office so now I have to wait several months to see the social security doc's
3. My landlord has decided to sell the house I have lived in for 16 years. I have to move out by December 31st.
4. I will soon have no income and have little in the bank and no social security approval on the horizion.
5. I cannot afford to move and have no one I can move in with
6. I stand a very good chance of losing my dogs and 2 cats and end up living on the street.

But hey, I still have a spring in my step!!! Gotta love Lamictal and Abilify hahaha.

Skully: hope there is a Christmas miracle and you find the things you need.

I'm sorry to hear your hardships Skully. It's not easy. I hope an Angel comes to help you. Keep your chin up and believe that there is a path and purpose out there for you

Skully - sending you vibes of strength and calm. So many things to deal with, but you are strong!

I was on just a antidepressant for 14 years. It kept my depression liveable in my down cycles. On my up cycles, I loved the Hypo-Manic energy, and overall feeling of well being. I would have phases of irritability and agitation and didn't quite understand it. My hypo-Mania's became shorter and shorter each year, and my depressions, longer and longer. Not being DX'd properly was partially my fault, a result of me canceling Doctor's appointments when I was manic, and only going when I was depressed. I think we are experts at hiding symptoms. I had a full blown Mania in 1995, and then it was obvious to everyone. I have struggled with the right med combo for years. I think I finally got it right last year. This is a tough illness to treat.

tcmoon: glad you have the right combo at the moment, sucks that it took so long and so much suffering to get there. I think your story is common, lots of us with BP2 love the (hypo)manias and don't want help for them. Even though I know better now, I still feel the same

I am battling without anti-deps at the moment, but realise it takes a long time to find the right combo.
I've also stopped a good few times. Sometimes self-medicated and taken too many meds.
But getting a good pdoc that will listen to you - that is key!

Man, I am hurting on Depakote. I have tried so many other mood stabilizers. I don't know what my p-doc will try next, but I have a call in to her because I was really sick again yesterday. I think the stuff is slowly poisioning me.

BNLsMOM def a good idea to call pdoc if side effects are bad... some of these drugs can cause nasty things in some people...

I'm a bit worried somethings wrong with my meds coz I've been feeling crappy (not mood wise) but fatigued, upset tummy, headache etc if it doesn't get better I will have to call my pdoc too!

if only the solutions were black and white and it was the same for everyone. And there were no side-effects to deal with. But instead it is unfortunately a long road.
BNL and Kate - I hope both of you feel better really soon!
Fatigue is something I always have, even if I sleep for 13 hours - but once your mood lifts, and the side-effects go away, you'll feel on top of the world :-)

Thinking of you