Functioning, but not coping

So last week i didnt leave the house, Friday i had to, cause i had work, my parents shouted at me when i got home for not being at college all week.
I have only been living with them for 8 months, having moved out for two years and living independently, i couldnt bring myself to tell them what i had been going through, so i just left the house and went back to my friends, whose house i had been staying at all week (he's the one i used to live with) i feel safe there, like i'm at home. Now everytime i come home after work, i just wanna get back to his again, unfortunately, thats a cold walk in the snow, a train journey that leaves me shaking in tears through anxiety and then more cold walking in the snow, but i've been doing it.
Although feeling down, this is definitely mania, when talking, i'm onto the next question before anyone knows what the first thing i am talking about is. I appear funnier to everyone around me, but all thats in my head is that i need TO GET OUT! i dont even know what that means, but the words are etched in my brain dying to get out.
Point is, i cant even think into my future, i just know i wanna stay in my friends flat for the time being.
My care worker is meant to be taking me to Kick boxing on TUesday night, but i dont want to go.. i really really dont.

Sorry things are so bad... wish I could do something or say something to make it better...
Take care of yourself, don't beat yourself up over things, esp what other people (parents!!!) think or say... please be kind to yourself... Take little steps and REWARD yourself for each achievement even if it is little...
Here is some and s to let you know I'm thinking about you...

Thnks Blackpup! means a lot!
I dont expect answers i just need people to talk to!

Know the feeling... I'll be around a bit, but meant to be getting work done... really stressed about finishing it
Do your parents know about your BP? Is it anxiety that's keeping you in or is it depression or both?

Talk away, widgets! Hear you. Though our particular situations are different, there are times when we just need to talk about stuff that's going on. I'm in that same kind of place right now. Sorry for what is going on for you right now, but glad that you can talk about it and we can be here to listen and care.

Edited to add... Your thread title immediately caught my eye. Yes. That is what it is. Exactly. (Though, again, our situations are different.... you just worded it so perfectly... Just wanted ya to know! )

i'm not sure why i dont want to leave, its anxiety, its the fact that i know i need to face up and decide things about my future, but i'm so trapped into my situation, that i dont want to think about it, so if i dont leave the house i dont need to make any decisions!
So i'm getting up going to work, and appearing fine, but feeling crazy at the same time!

You don't need to make all the decisions the second you walk out the door. Break in down into little pieces. Start doing the easy things first, when you get more confident try the harder ones. Once you get started it is amazing what you can do...
When I am not well I have a really huge "too hard basket" I give myself permission not to deal with the things I have to so I can function as best as I can... They do need to be dealt with but if you can put them off till your feeling better it can help.

Hey there - I know about the need to talk. Your head just feels full. Try journal these thoughts and give them to your T to read. Alternatively, just ramble away here on PC and we'll give you all the support we can.

If you live with your parents, they probably should know about your BP - else they will treat you as a healthy person, and probably place more demands on you than you can manage. I haven't told my parents, but I don't live with them. I didn't initially tell my bf, but when things got out of hand, my depression too deep and my rage too much, I told him. In the hope of him backing off a bit, and disecting Jackie vs BP.

Can you move back in with your friend?

I hope things look up for you!

i want to move back in with my friend, i'm so scared to ask him in case he doesnt want to.. plus that means leaving college, so all these decisions are too much for me to deal with!

Can you study via correspondence? Right now you have nothing to lose by asking him, and the worst would be that he'd say no, and you'd still be with your parents.