[JennyDots]

OMG OmG OmG OMG
...
sorry that's just kind of how I feel right now, i wasted all night Not getting anything done that I should have, (I did ONE article), and frankly, WHATEVER!!!!

So I'm supposed to HAVE BEEN writing it for some hours now & IT SHOULD BE DONE and liek I could have slept,right? that would hqave made some sense!Q!!! at least!!!!! but NO!!!! last night too, and the night before maybe??? same stupid thing

okay i need to slow down.

here's what set me off tonight i guess.

1) my friend called me paranoid! and i told her i was NOT and gave her reasons! i'll just have to ask you to trust me, they made sense, because it would be too frustrating to go through them again. then she tried to tell me how she's supportive.

2) THIS SITE APPEARED ON ONE OF MY BROWSER TABS, ON THE MANIA QUIZ, very funny universe, I ignored it for a long time b/c really WAS doing research, it was kind of funny that tab came up, but then I thought why not fill it out, because I KNEW i wasn't manic, so it would just be fun to do for a few minutes and then the thing said 67 Severely Manic, and that was NOT TRUE, then I started thinking what if it's right, I'm not "manic" but it's true I haven't slept - whatever, I'm just MAD.

What is wrong with me??????
All I want is to get some things done, without getting off to something different and spending hours on that because I'm SURE it's going to be the key to the whole thing! - and then, now, it's 6 am, and I am screwed, and my friend thinks I'm crazy and so does that quiz maybe I am, and I shouldn't be on here because I have work to do!!!!!

I know why people can't stand me.

and, haha, now you do too.

sorry for all the (whatever), I don't know,

thanks.
jDots

[blueoctober]

Hi JennyDots, are you diagnosed with bipolar?

[JennyDots]

Originally Posted by blueoctober

Hi JennyDots, are you diagnosed with bipolar?

uh, sort of, it's that hybrid thing schizoaffective, BLAH.
so i guess my friend has every symptom in the book she can throw at me, but that does not give her the RIGHT, she's not a doctor
But i don't want to hear it from a doctor either! Because it's not true!
And the schizoaffective, yes it's the bipolar type, so, yes i do get manic. but i wasn't, at least to my knowledge, i didn't expect the quiz to say that. but i'm so, so, so pissed off now that i'm completely hyper, or maybe i was before too because i might have answered a question that way? but that doesn't make sense because i thought i was very calm!
i hate this, i feel abandoned.
I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS!
oh my god.
am i so f**ed up that i don't even know????
or WHAT?????
it doesn't make sense,
all that does make sense is that -
okay. i'm probably a little paranoid. just because i know what i was about to write. but my friend, she was going on what i SAID. and it was rational. she just knows i have this diagnosis, so i'm FAIR GAME!!!!!!
just let me OUT!!!!! i can;t stand this, please!!!!
sorry i'm not making sense, i hate this, i wish i could just go AWAY!!!!
jenny

[BNLsMOM]

It's hard to tell through typing, but your words seem excitable and a bit scattered. I wouldn't put too much stock in a quiz. I find them to be no more than a guideline as to whether or not my mood is changing.

Maybe take a few deeps breaths, a nap, hot cup of tea, organize your research and assign a process to your writing project.

By the way, welcome!

[BlackPup]

if you are worried, then talk to your doctor... staying up late can even make sane people a little crazy. See how you feel after a good sleep.

[blueoctober]

Jenny. I hope after some sleep you'll feel a bit better. Perhaps your friend was just concerned about you, but when she spoke to you about it it came across as her judging you.