[reader71]

Hello all!

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 about four years ago. I went on lexapro and lamictal, which really helped me for about three years. I also took steps to change my lifestyle at that time, like quitting drinking and getting into yoga and meditation. About a year and a half ago I suffered the loss of a relationship which really devastated me because there were children involved. I also lost my job. Gained a ton of weight. I started drinking again and went of my meds last June.

i also got into a relationship last Feb that was on and off until about three weeks ago, with a guy who is just not a very good person. He treated me horribly, yet I still kept going back and we pretty much just used each other for sex. Not good. He has his own mental issues with depression and anger, and is very selfish. I felt guilty for even being with him, because I feel like I behaved badly too. For the past few days I found myself focusing on him and the relationship, crying constantly, and generally beating myself up for every decision I've ever made in my life. I have always been super critical of myself, and with depression it gets really bad. I feel like I've wasted my life and my potential, but have no desire to achieve anything.

i bit the bullet this morning and called my psychiatrist. I have no money and no insurance, but I am soooooo glad I went. We talked and he suggested that I try some new medication. Winter has always been difficult for me, so I really hope the meds give me the extra kick I need to get back to mental health. I am taking Wellbutrin and Lamictal. I am finally feeling like a human being again and realize that I cannot let myself ignore my mental illness again. I need to accept that I must manage it at all times, and that it takes work.

I don't really know why I posted this. Just wanted to get it off my chest, i guess.

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by reader71

Winter has always been difficult for me, so I really hope the meds give me the extra kick I need to get back to mental health. I am taking Wellbutrin and Lamictal.

Welcome reader. I have a hard time in Winter as well and am on Lamictal and Wellbutrin too. That combo has helped me and I hope it helps you too. I also started using a SAD lamp this year and that has made a big difference for me.

We all make mistakes in our lives and unfortunately when our moods gets low the negative self talk goes into overdrive. Perhaps your pdoc would have some suggestions for a low or no cost Therapist? I'm glad you decided to post and I hope you find this site supportive.

[reader71]

Thanks! I also see my psychiatrist for therapy. He knows me well, and right now I need that. I am also thinking of finding a bipolar support group in my area. This board seems like a good place for support too. Thanks for the warm welcome!

[reader71]

Thanks so much for the warm welcome.

I wrote another reply but it didn't show up. I am not sure if a moderator has to look at all my posts till I post at least five?

[BlackPup]

Welcome...
glad you are looking after yourself better now.... you deserve it

[kitty004567]

I'm so glad you took the steps to help yourself...and welcome!

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by reader71

Thanks! I also see my psychiatrist for therapy. He knows me well, and right now I need that. I am also thinking of finding a bipolar support group in my area. This board seems like a good place for support too. Thanks for the warm welcome!

I'm glad you told us where you are at, Reader71. Welcome to Psych Central .
It seems you have an uncommonly good psychiatrist too.
Joining a support group is a good move, especially if you find an active one where people are open with each other and supportive.

[Trippin2.0]

I hope you make many friends here at PC!!!

[sugahorse1]

Hi and welcome.
I'm also currently on the same combo as you.

Seems like you have been through a lot, so well done for taking the step to seek help.
I hope you enjoy visiting these forums too