I hate me

I'm feeling especially low today....I havnt seen my daughter in almost a week because of school. I only have her on the weekends. I went to pick her up tonight and I was upset because she cries everytime I come to get her and take her home and my mom tells me that its all my fault and that when she was my age she work 8-9 hours a day and didnt need to drop us off somewhere all week just because she works...I'm a bad parent....I could have done better, she says so I tell her "fine, she can stay here, because your obviously a better parent than I am" and I left....without her...what kind of a person does that?? Why am I like this, I cant control anything anymore....I feel lost...I cant help by feel a sence of failure in every aspect of my life. I cant do anything right. I just feel really hopeless....I got home and the first thing I did was go upstairs in the bathroom and cut on my legs....I dont know why I do it...It makes me feel....anything...I dont know what to do.

How old is your daughter? I'm asking since you said she cries every time you pick her up?

Your mother should not have said what she said to you and it made you angry which is a normal reaction. You lashed back by leaving your child there with her since she has the "better parenting skills" according to her.

That was just an 'in your face' type of thing and no big deal. A bit of a temper tantrum in a sense. (no offense we all have them).

Sometimes we have so many bad things going on at once it becomes overwhelming and we lose our tempers quicker than we normally would. Everyday stress wears you down and sometimes it's just too much. I don't think you are hopeless or a failure. What you explained is a normal reaction many have during hard times, its o k.

As long as your daughter is ok with you leaving her at your moms it shouldn't be an issue. You can make it up to her next time you see her.

People have to work and there's nothing you can do about that. Moms will be moms- so at times you have to let it go in one ear and out the other.

As far as the leg cutting thing, why don't try doing 100 push ups if it's pain you seek. Push ups will cause pain after a while and you'll get in shape in the process. Reduces stress as well and safer for you. Just a suggestion.
Don't be so hard on yourself.

Kayla_Marie2005. Nitwit had some great suggestions. Do you see a therapist at all? That may help.

Great suggestions; all I would add is forgive yourself. If you're a mom, you're going to screw up from time to time. And forgive your mom; not because she deserves it, but because it will take a weight off of your shoulders that you may not even know is there. And what I can tell you for certain is that children have an amazing ability to bounce back and an endless supply of love and forgiveness. I know this because I've been a mom for 30 years. Sending you vibes of unlimited peace and understanding.