[reader71]

I got really drunk and hung out with my ex BF last night even though he is seeing someone else. Things got out of hand, we slept together, and I proceeded to cry, tell him I still love him, and then he asked me to leave. I am bipolar and should not drink. I don't even think I really love him. This has to be it. NO MORE CONTACT. No more drinking. What the hell is wrong with me? It's not like he's a really great guy or anything. Actually, our relationship was never what I needed or wanted. Ugh. Trying not to beat myself up, but it's hard.

I just went to therapy and started new meds on Monday. Why am I sabotaging myself? I want to get better, but I keep screwing up.

[sundog]

Hi reader. Don't beat yourself up! So many people have done what you describe here. I know I have!! It's just one of those things that happen sometimes in certain situations with ex's.

I think you're right not to have any more contact with this guy. And it's definitely a good idea to lay off alcohol so these new meds have a fair chance to work. I know how crummy it feels after a night like the one you had last night, but, in the grand scheme of things it's just a temporary blip. You CAN get back on track. So please go easy on yourself because we all make mistakes like this.

Good luck with your new meds!

[reader71]

Thank you, Sundog. I know I will feel much better tomorrow.

[kitty004567]

been there..done that

I'm sorry you're going through it but hopefully things will get better soon.

[hello9you]

I've been right where you are.. its always tough.. at the time it doesn't seem so bad but then when reality sets in its like whoa did i seriously just do that?..
just keep your head up and do try not to drink until you are completely stable and still then don't go all out a get wasted.. your right bp and drinking not really ever a good combo
Keep your head up we all have to make mistakes to gain understanding. or at least thats what I believe.

[ladyjrnlist]

The. Fact that he asked you to leaave when you were upset speaks volumes about him. Forgive yourself and move on.

[Eloise42]

I'm not sure you even have to be bipolar for that to happen honestly. Cut yourself some slack. He is seeing someone else, slept with you, then asked you to leave, knowingly hurting YOUR feelings and you think YOU are the jerk?!?!

[sugahorse1]

You need to cut all ties to allow the chemistry to subside. Please do this. I've been in limbo like this too, and it just makes the pain last even longer. For your own sake, please don't talk to him.

Drinking and BP is always going to be a contentious issue. I do drink, and sometimes I really regret it. But it's always been a part of my life - not hectic quantities, but alcohol none-the-less.
Even when you're 'stable' keep the booze to a minimum.

I am glad you are starting therapy, and the exact questions you are asking now, will make for great discussions in therapy.

[reader71]

I slept for 12 hours last night and feel much better. Thanks, everyone for all your kind replies. They really helped me get through the day.

[sugahorse1]

Rest is good; take it easy on yourself xx

[Trippin2.0]

Don't beat yourself up, I've done this too, besides HE's the jerk NOT you.
See it as a lesson well learned and move on Hun. ♥
You're not a bad person! XOXO