[kitty004567]

Last night I was hanging out with a friend watching tv. For no reason I could understand I kept getting more and more depressed. To make matters worse he could tell and kept asking me about every 20 seconds if I was ok (this is a big trigger for me). So I started to get mad. Then I accidentally dropped the remote for my ipod docking station under my headboard and couldn't retrieve it even after moving the bed. I said I was a failure, my friend said I wasn't it was just a stupid remote and we'd find it later.

Then all of a sudden there were two opposing trains of thought in my head. One of them, it for lack of a better term, hated me and hated my friend. It wanted to make my friend angry so he would leave. It also wanted to torture him for being nice to me. I felt like I was just helplessly watching this occur, all those nasty things that came out of my mouth... then I'd get the chance to speak and try to explain it wasn't me. It was mad and it wanted me dead. I felt like there were my thoughts and it's thoughts fighting in my head. My friend asked if he needed to call someone. I said no.

After about 30-40 min it just went away. My friend asked what had happened and I said I had no idea. He said well, was it another personality? I said they're usually not coaware. He said well, is it schizophrenia? I said I don't know. He said well, you need to talk to your T about this (I have an appt Tues). I said duh.

What happened? anyone have any idea...or been though something similar?

I'm sorry you went through that. I'm glad you're already scheduled to see your T. Has anything like that ever happened before? Sometimes when we're under great amounts of stress, our minds can do all kinds of strange things. I thought real split personalities were more like DID (Dissociative disorder) than schizophrenia but i am not a doctor - I just read a lot. Maybe you can call your T tomorrow just so he/she is aware of this.

[Kymaro]

Sounds like an anxiety attact for lack of better words. I'm not familar with your condition, meds or situation but i've experienced short "rapid mood swings" simular to what you are describing and again for lack of better terms, I treat them as anxiety attacks. I agree with you, it doesnt sound like "another personality". And schizophrenia are more hallucigenic in nature. Not really "a train of thoughts running rampart" but external loss of touch with reality. I know you will talk with the "T" so not going to sugest that.. :-) but its nice your friend stuck with you and supported you.

[kitty004567]

Originally Posted by jadedmoonbeam

Has anything like that ever happened before? Sometimes when we're under great amounts of stress, our minds can do all kinds of strange things. I thought real split personalities were more like DID (Dissociative disorder) than schizophrenia but i am not a doctor - I just read a lot. Maybe you can call your T tomorrow just so he/she is aware of this.

This has never happened before that I'm aware of. Of course there was a lot of really weird stuff when I was younger but I was undiagnosed and unmedicated and did drugs. I know that split personalities are DID; and that's basically what he was asking.

Originally Posted by Kymaro

Sounds like an anxiety attact for lack of better words. I'm not familar with your condition, meds or situation but i've experienced short "rapid mood swings" simular to what you are describing and again for lack of better terms, I treat them as anxiety attacks.

but its nice your friend stuck with you and supported you.

I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder (like every 5-10 min when I'm not medicated) but I've been stable for over a year. I take seroquil, gabapenten, xanax, and have ativan for panic attacks but this is nothing like the panic attacks I've had before. Interesting thought though. It would be more comfortable to chalk it up to anxiety. It is nice that my friend stayed but I feel horrible for him, he's got his own issues he doesn't need mine. And so far he's not talking to me today... not that I blame him I said some horrible things last night.

Thank you both for your replies.

[kitty004567]

Turns out the friend is talking to me... he forgot his phone at home when he went to work. Whoops

[Tsunamisurfer]

Hi Kitty.
I have experienced something very similar to that, and to me it didn't seem like conventional anxiety or a panic attack. It was not a purely depressive mood either. If anything it could be described as agitated depression, but more inward agitation than outward. Perceptions got very mixed up, and auditory and visual stimuli became very distorted, while my mind would play back thoughts and variations so dominantly it was almost as if a dream had taken over my interactions with other people - where the chaos of the dream was louder in my mind than what people around me were actually saying or doing.

The best my therapist and psychiatrist could come up with was "maybe it was some sort of panic attack" - but that just doesn't ring true to me because there was nothing I could associate any threat with - nothing to panic about, except the extremely distressing experience itself.

I felt I was walking on the razor edge of psychosis.
Fortunately it didn't last very long, and I was back to my normal BP mood swings the next day. (I've been on Sodium Valproate and Lithium which may have helped keep me out of the really deep water).

[kitty004567]

Tsunamisurfer, thank you for your reply. It sounds like your experience was very similar to mine. Panic attack would be a nice category for it but I think it was probably a temporary psychosis (at least in my case). *sigh* don't want to deal with that too thank you very much.