[BNLsMOM]

I talked about some stuff that has been bothering me and I didn't realize howmuch things were bothering me until I talked about them.

Now I am feeling down, and having thoughts of hurting/killing myself. I picked up my son from preschool today and as we were driving home I was thinking that I should have a olan just in case...

I don't want to be thinking this way.

[kitty004567]

((BNLsMOM)) I hope you feel better soon. And remember if the thoughts get too much to go to the hospital or call for help.

The 2nd to last therapist I saw triggered so many memories that I cried for weeks, then I had some awful dreams. I called her office and told the staff that I needed to talk to her and she never called me back. I ended up seeing a different therapist.

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by tntopo

The 2nd to last therapist I saw triggered so many memories that I cried for weeks, then I had some awful dreams. I called her office and told the staff that I needed to talk to her and she never called me back. I ended up seeing a different therapist.

My therapist is excellent. He makes himself available 24/7 in case of emergencies and gives me concrete ways to work on things while I am outside his office. The thing that is triggering me is that I kind of have to make a decision about my relationship with my husband that I am afraid to make and we were talking about it in the office today. I am completely unable to make the decision one way or the other and that leaves me feeling trapped. When I feel trapped is when my issues and symptoms seem to rise up.

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

I talked about some stuff that has been bothering me and I didn't realize howmuch things were bothering me until I talked about them...I was thinking that I should have a olan just in case...
I don't want to be thinking this way.

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

... I am completely unable to make the decision one way or the other and that leaves me feeling trapped. When I feel trapped is when my issues and symptoms seem to rise up.

I don't want you to be feeling that way either, BNLsMOM! You know it's true about talking about things sometimes... we shove them down so much...kind of have to take them on as we are ready or at least in spells that are not too overwhelming. (One comes vividly to mind of thinking I was so "over" something. But then talking about it, totally broke down... psych considered it a good sign that at least I cared about something...maybe for you too?) Not being able to make a decision makes me feel trapped too...and when things really flare up. You're definitely not alone in that. Just wanted you to know... Hope it sorts out for you soon, BNLsMOM! and lots of

[Tsunamisurfer]

BNLsMOM, I hope you are feeling less trapped and deflated today.
I often found that raising issues in therapy left me feeling exhausted and even distraught. Some how the healing process is a lot bigger than the hour of therapy itself, and how we deal with stewing over the issues is just as important to resolving them and our recovery.

I hope you are able to make your decisions wisely, and that the outcomes are positive all round.

Peter

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

My therapist is excellent. He makes himself available 24/7 in case of emergencies and gives me concrete ways to work on things while I am outside his office. The thing that is triggering me is that I kind of have to make a decision about my relationship with my husband that I am afraid to make and we were talking about it in the office today. I am completely unable to make the decision one way or the other and that leaves me feeling trapped. When I feel trapped is when my issues and symptoms seem to rise up.

[sugahorse1]

BNL - maybe take a step back from the situation; you don't need to make a decision NOW. Continue seeing your T as much as possible and first and foremost work through your feelings, your needs, your wants.
Then consider your relationship, and if all the above are met. Consider if changes can be made to make things better. Give yourself as much time as you need to consider every possible angle and only then contemplate making a decision. By then it will be crystal clear.
Please look after yourself, and promise to at least call your T if those thoughts get too much. And think of your lovely kids; and your PC family who love you dearly!

[PT52]

BNL...