[Secretum]

Hi, everyone. I often read through threads on this board, but I rarely post...

For the past several years, I have experienced extreme fluctuations in my mood, several times a day. I can switch from feeling pure elation, with a heightened sense of self-worth, to feeling as if I am a complete failure, and it wouldn't matter even if I had been successful, because life overall is so pointless. I had a period of about 1.25 years during which I felt mostly depressed. I still had my "high-on-life" moments, but I believed them to be the result of fantasy, unconnected to anything substantial.

The constant low mood has recently lifted, but I noticed that my daily fluctuations are getting more intense. My lows now sometimes have the power to render me motionless; I have to sleep to escape the pain and meaninglessness. Then, I wake up and the world is beautiful. I've never experimented with illegal drugs, but my high moods are what I imagine I would feel if I did heroin. *Everything* is going to okay, better than okay...

In addition to the increased intensity, my moods are lasting for longer durations. I had nearly two days of euphoria last week; this is the longest I've ever felt like that.

People with rapid/ultradian cycling bipolar II, can you relate to this? I have started seeing a therapist for these issues, and I want to know if rapid cycling bipolar/ cyclothymia is something that I should bring up with him. I've posted something similar to this post in the borderline forum earlier; now I want a prospective from someone who is bipolar, as I have realized that I do not have many of the social symptoms of borderline pd. Thanks for reading and responding; have an excellent day!

[kitty004567]

It sounds similar to what I experienced before being on medication however I would make sure to discuss it with your doctor and present it exactly as you have here... you don't want to lead them into a diagnosis that may or may not be right.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Yup! Very familiar.
I'm Manic Depressive and nothing else according to my psychiatrist.
I don't usually wake up feeling strongly down or up, but the mood makes itself known quite boldly within a couple of minutes of being up and about.

[MissMay1977]

Hi there. I am diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personaliy disorder so I can provide some insight. Have you been diagnosed with borderline? I also want to ask if you feel like your mood swings are triggered by your environment? That is how I determine if I am having a bpd mood swing or a bipolar mood swing. I think it is certainly worth mentioning to your health care providers the mood swings you are experiencing. Good luck and I hope your mood stabilizes soon.

[lilysunshine]

Hi, Secretum!

From my understanding, if you are experiencing eurphoric high moods (in other words, mania), you cannot be Bipolar II. Bipolar II presents with hypomanic and depressive episodes, but lack the mania of Bipolar I.

My girlfriend has Ultradian Cycling Bipolar I. Unmedicated, she experiences multiple mood episodes within the same day. This is the primary symptom of Ultradian Cycling. As your moods are lasting longer, up to a period of days, it could possibly Ultra-rapid Bipolar I. But trust me - for the Ultradian cycling, it is very definitively multiple cycles within a 24 hour period. She was unable to sustain a consistent mood for a period of hours, let alone a full day.

From our experience, there is no suspected symptom too small to mention to your psychiatrist. That is what they are there for - it is there job and their responsibility to you to take everything going on into account when working on your treatment (or diagnosis). Bring it up - your psychiatrist will either be able to calm your worries over it or move forward with a new course of action.

On a side note - we thought my girlfriend was Borderline for nearly two years before we realized that she had more of the symptoms of Bipolar disorder than Borderline. They do share a lot of symptoms.

[lilysunshine]

Also - I'm a little uncomfortable with the first part of my comment. Please don't take that as an attempt to diagnose you - I am far from a professional. More that the moods you are describing don't fit with your question about Bipolar II disorder. These forums are great for discussion, but always discuss this stuff with your p-doc.

[Secretum]

Thanks, everyone, for your valuable input!

Lilysunshine, I used the term "ultradian" because my moods typically do cycle within a day; the longer duration is a very new development. I suppose I just assumed that if I did have a disorder on the bipolar spectrum it would be cyclothymia or bipolar II; the term "bipolar I" scares me because of its severity. Of course, that is no reason to rule it out. However, despite being euphoric, my highs have never caused me any serious issues; they typically are very enjoyable! Because of this, I am fairly confident that I have never experienced true mania, and hence am not bipolar I. Thanks for your opinion; your girlfriend is very lucky to have someone who is so knowledgeable about her condition.

MissMay, I have not been diagnosed with bpd, or any other psychiatric condition. I feel like I can relate to some symptoms of bpd beyond mood lability-dissociation and feelings of boredom/emptiness, primarily- but I have other reasons to think that I don't have bpd. My mood tends to have little correlation to my environment. It can be influenced by the environment to a certain extent- an unpleasant event may increase my depression if I am already depressed, but if I am hypomanic, it is unlikely to affect me. Thanks for responding; your insight into the differences between a bpd mood swing and a bipolar mood swing have further convinced me that I do not have bpd, and have been very helpful. = )