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#1
Feb 19, 2011, 06:57 AM
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had to go to a friends engagement party tonight, first night out socialising in twelve months.
I almost couldnt make myself enter the party. But i had too my partner and my kids wanted to be there so badly. Forced myself to sit through three hours, i wanted to have fun , to dance. But i feel like a freak, like im ugly, so i sat there. Left early (my partner stayed on) felt completely suicidal , but i could not do that to my kids, i wish they had a 'real' parent though instead of me...... |
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#2
Feb 19, 2011, 11:38 AM
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Hey, you are a REAL parent and a real person. Being bipolar is not who you are. I have a hard time of letting go of the same old lament too. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I don' t really know what to tell you except to accept yourself as you are and try to make yourself happy. Be grateful for the people in your life who love and care about you. When I am depressed I tend to forget that I am an important person to a lot of people. You are too. Hope you feel better soon.
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#3
Feb 19, 2011, 01:53 PM
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I don't have much to add except I feel the same way. I don't socialize anymore and I wish I was not bipolar, that I don't deserve to have kids.
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#4
Feb 19, 2011, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Always Keep Fighting 
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#5
Feb 20, 2011, 12:22 AM
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I agree with reader, you are a real parent and person and with kymaro that a few hours out after a year of nothing is huge! I remember times when just going with someone to the grocery store for 10 min to pick up one thing was overwhelming. Congratulations on making it to a couple of hours!
__________________
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#6
Feb 20, 2011, 09:10 AM
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thanks guys that actually helped.
Feeling better today, my little one had a minor accident and i spent all afternoon and all of the evening in hospital, it made me realise i can cope under pressure and that when my kids need me i can step up and be a good parent. |
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#7
Feb 20, 2011, 01:20 PM
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I am glad you realize that you can cope when put under pressure. Something about being a parent does that to us. I agree that you did a good job for handling 3 hours of just being in the atmostphere. That is an accomplishment in itself! I think you were being too hard on yourself! You proved by taking your little one to the hosptial that you are an effective parent!
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#8
Feb 20, 2011, 06:41 PM
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thankyou.
I hope other people who are having self doubts may read this and it helps them too. Thankyou everyone for being so supportive |
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#9
Feb 20, 2011, 11:21 PM
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I'm glad you realized you can step up when it matters (I hope your little one's ok). I'm also glad you are able to think a little more clearly about the party - you did well, in both cases.
__________________
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#10
Feb 21, 2011, 07:12 PM
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thanks! Its so hard when the moods strike to see anything in a positive light, but while i can, im gonna try find any positive that i can
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 kitty004567
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#11
Feb 22, 2011, 07:06 AM
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My pdoc, back when I could afford one, put the kibbosh on that question very early in our sessions. "You keep saying you want to be normal. There is nobody who is normal. Normal doesn't exist."
I looked around me and realized he was right. At least some of us get treatment. 
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| kitty004567
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#12
Feb 25, 2011, 07:35 AM
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very wise man
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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