I feel so, so hopeless.

I'm about to be 15 in a couple of weeks, and I was diagnosed with bipolar this past summer. However, I'm remaining on 20 mg of Prozac (for panic disorder) until I'm 18 or when they find it acceptable to put me on more medication. My parents seemed to have accepted this because it's the doctor's word, but I'm not convinced.

My manic episodes are constant. I'm always talking, laughing, etc, and I can't stop. Some people in my class think I'm crazy or annoying because of it, but they don't seem to understand that I can't stop. If I could, I would put all of my thoughts on hold and stop being so restless and excited. I'm not enjoying myself like they think; in fact, most of the time, I'm in pain from trying to stop. I've also found myself to be a slut, too; I had sex with a boy I had just met on the Internet the day before, and I cheated with my ex on his girlfriend. I know it is wrong, but I can't stop that itch inside of me. I think of sex almost constantly, and I know it's not acceptable to be so obsessed with it. I know I'm sick, but nobody will give me the proper medication. What can I do to get what I need to be better?

By the way, my hyperactivity has been the same since I was 6. My promiscuity started when I was 12, I think. I have had several depressive episodes, only two of them being major. The rest just happen to be that 2 or 3 day rest between manic episodes.

Prozac is a SSRI anti-d and for a person with BP without a mood stabilizer this can be a recipe for disaster. Even with a mood stabilizer some people with BP cannot tolerate any anti-d's. I would recommend asking your parents to have you see another Psychiatrist and preferable one that specializes with teens/children and mood disorders. If your parents aren't willing to have you see a new Psychiatrist, I would suggest asking for an appointment with your current Psychiatrist. It may be helpful for you to write down some of the symptoms you're experiencing, so you can let the Psychiatrist know.

It may also help for your parents to educate themselves on the illness. The book in my signature is for family members/significant others of those diagnosed. There are also several books on bipolar in teens and children. Sorry I cannot recommend any because I haven't read any of them.

The antidepressants worked for a couple of years, though. I don't understand how they could work for so long, and then just stop?

I was on Prozac for years, too, and it worked okay, because I was in a depressive state all of that time. At some point, it triggered a hypomanic state and made it worse. That was when I got the right diagnosis. Now I'm on a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant that isn't an SSRI.

blueoctober is right - your parents need more information and to find you another Psychiatrist. And even if your parents aren't willing to educate themselves, you can benefit from educating yourself. Be strong - sometimes it won't feel like it, but it will get better.

SSRI-class anti-d's have a dependency, and that's maybe why it quit working; you're body and brain just used to them. Plus, as was said above, an SSRI without a mood stabilzer is extremely risky for someone with BP. I'm kinda surprised it was prescribed especially at such a young age, when it's been proven that it can cause an increased risk of suicide in anyone under 25.

I agree with the above posters. Seek either an immediate appt with your current pdoc, or get a new one, and most definitely tell your parents exactly. Hypomania can lead to mania in some, and it sounds like you're on your way.

I recently read that about Prozac, too; the psychiatrist told me to call immediately if I had any suicidal ideation while on it, but I guess it's a very common medication to put teens on for panic disorder.

I also have a question about hypomania/mania: what is the big difference between the two?

Mania, and to a lesser extent, Hypomania, and even still to a lesser extent, hyperthymic temperament, are three levels of mania. Mania in a traditional sense can be defined loosely on significantly elevated moods. From irritability to rage, little or no sleep for days, weeks, or months. It expands to an elevated need to be active, and many people experience flight of ideas, or they say their mind is racing from idea to idea. Many who have episodes of full-blown mania also experience Psychosis, and experience delusions, hallucinations (auditory, or visual or otherwise), paranoia, etc etc. Basically Psychosis is defined as a complete loss of reality.

Hypo-mania is many things that is Mania minus Psychosis. This, too, can take the form of elevated self esteem, grandiosity, irritable or rage. Many have pressured speech and talk very quickly, and have flight of ideas. It would be wise to read the links I posted, and go over the symptoms with your pdoc and therapist and how they relate to you. Both psy-health workers should know them well, and know how to recognize them.

I can, like any of us, only speak for my self. But I don't experience full-blown mania, rather I have episodes of hypomania that last for a few days (I cycle almost every week now off the drugs. drugs were making me cycle more violently and faster. go figure.) But my hypomania can manafest it's self in a few ways. I am extremely irritable, and have had rage episodes; i am very forward and confrontational with people. Other times, I am joyful and elated to just be in existence, and I am a very talkative person, and I fit the stereotype, when hypomanic, of being "the life of the party." I typically think extremely fast for my self, compared to when normal or depressed, and often just say exactly what i'm thinking no matter what it is because I just cant hold it in. Hypomania is often described as a extremely pleasurable experience because of the euphoria, and extreme sense of well being.

I hope this helps. Everyone kinda has similar, but different experiences that shape their mania over the course of their lives. While they do fit into a diagnosable mood state, with defined underlining criteria, many have their own ways of... what's the word, perception of the world while in these states. Basically, it's both different for everyone, but everyone kinda fits into a "mold" of criteria. Make sense?

The Mania page has a posting about mixed episodes. It would be wise, as well, to look into them. If you have not had one, then i'd read into it carefully in order to prepare if you ever do. But that's for another time.

Hope this helps, mate.

Thanks. I was kind of unsure about hypomania, but now I understand. I'm thinking that my episodes start as hypomania, but then I go overboard and become manic. Is that at all possible, or am I experiencing something else all together? I never realized how little I knew about my own disorder until now.

i hope the meds get figured out with your doctor. It sounds like your going through a rough time. are you seeing a therapist? that might help you figure out some things...

Yes. Often those who are BP I start off as hypomania, and go into mania after some time. Its very much recommended to read up, ad study as much you can.

I have to see a therapist in order to see a psychiatrist, so yes. She doesn't really ask about how my medications are working out; we just talk about my feelings and stuff. I mentioned my manic symptoms, but she never really said anything about medication. Just suggested how I can outlet in different ways.

I agree in that you need to talk to your pdoc. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II and told at the time that antidepressents without a mood stabilizer can be very dangerous for people with this disorder. Sometimes you just have to keep telling docs that things aren't right hopefully they will eventually listen to you and if not then you may need to try to see another doc.

From what you said earlier, it looks more like hypomania, but you definitely need to get some real answers. One of the things that is common with BP II is that the depression is worse, happens more often and lasts longer. Be your own best advocate - you have the power!