I don't want to be on meds!

Amen to that! I hate the weight gain, that battle to lose weight while on them, the lower energy and the just plain ordinariness of life without my somewhat hypomanic glow. I will have to give credit to the pills for the stopping of racing thoughts, no longer staying at work until 10-11 at night trying to keep up because I couldn't focus, not saying every outlandish thing in every inappropriate setting conceivable, and not making my loved ones mad at me nearly so often, or so intensely. I am trying to negotiate my doc into getting me on as tiny amount to handle symptoms and hopefully maintain skinny as possible. Wish me luck.

How about if the meds had zero side effects and simply controlled your mood? The magic button.

Than you'd be a cyborg and not a human.

I'm a weirdo. I love my meds. Sure, they are a pain to remember to take, but they are saving my life. In fact, i love them so much that my p-doc thinks he's taking me off Geodon and he's very much wrong and is going to find out how wrong he is tomorrow. I'm also Schizoaffective, so this idea is really, really bad. I don't know what he's thinking. I refuse to go back to hallucinating all day everyday. My life has changed considerably for the better with meds, and I don't want to go back to a life of misery, cheating, lying, spending money i don't have, drinking excessively, racing thoughts, inability to concentrate on my kids, etc. etc. ad nauseum. However, I do think to each his own. If you can cope off meds, that's awesome. I cannot.