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#1
Mar 21, 2011, 06:05 AM
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So, last night I was triggered and got very upset.
I ended up distracting myself TV, then took a Klonopin and went to bed. Even ended up in tears when my boyfriend came to hold me. Got up this morning and managed to be somewhat productive. But I feel very rocky at the moment. I am fragile and often feel tearful. Have been trying to distract myself with TV and internet for the last 3 hours (It's 1PM here now - lunch time) and my bf has been out working for the last 4 hours - which was only meant to be 2 hours. It's a public holiday and awesome weather, and I was really hoping to do something special with him.  After 3 hours at home alone, I am feeling really down. And anxious. Feel like a drink, and WILL have one, even if it is considered wrong. I really need to dull my senses right now and not allow myself time to think or be introspective. I just wish I had company right now. I don't like feeling so vulnerable. Tomorrow is work - that's not going to help my mood much either...b Is this just a normal human situation, or is it my privileged life of Bipolar? I just wish I could be rock hard, and let things roll off my back - but instead, I am hyper-sensitive gggggrrrrrr..... Thanks guys - just needed to vent 
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#2
Mar 21, 2011, 08:02 AM
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Sounds pretty normal to me. I always fell down for a day or two after a big trigger. The more you can be gentle with yourself the quicker it will pass.
Hugs
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#3
Mar 21, 2011, 10:49 AM
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Even normal people have bad days. Me thinks you are idealizing "normal".
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Glory to heroes!
HATEFREE CULTURE |
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#4
Mar 21, 2011, 11:28 AM
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Just not cool, and not in the mood for much - let alone work tomorrow...
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#5
Mar 21, 2011, 11:35 AM
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it's sounds normal to me
but u know wut why don't you try to pamper urself by any thing u like or do sports or sing out loud since u r alone at home these things might help u change ur bad mood |
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#6
Mar 21, 2011, 11:51 AM
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Just like VenusHalley said, even normal people have bad days, but the bad days tend to be worse for us bipolars. However, it will pass and better days will come. Hope is the only thing that makes hard times tolerable.
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"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King Dx Bipolar II Med-free for the time being |
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#7
Mar 21, 2011, 05:54 PM
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Sending you many hugs, hoping you are feeling better soon.
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#8
Mar 21, 2011, 07:55 PM
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Probably a normal human situation, but still, I'd love to be your company! I've never been anywhere remotely near where you live and I do love to travel....
 Pampering is a good idea. I tend to do things like facial mask ('cause, ok, it looks a bit freaky for others around!), nails (kinda stinky!), maybe even some teeth whitener strips (I hate them, but they do work!), pumicing feet and the like... kind of like a mini-home spa. All in all, they take more time than I'd like to spend all at once, making such an occasion a good excuse!  Hehe, and like nina said, music and dancing around. Easier to get a bit more "free" with such things with no one to see... 
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#9
Mar 22, 2011, 12:49 AM
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Me too Suga. And I just don't feel worthy of any self kindness right now. I am too tired to open the bag of coping skills.
Lets by each others best friend and remind each other what ever the reason we will be okay because we are not alone and today is not a predictor of tomorrow. Lifting you up in my thoughts and prayers dear suga. |
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#10
Mar 22, 2011, 03:28 AM
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Thanks everyone.
Guess it's up to me to pull myself out of this...hey. Just want to be left alone and hide at the moment. It feels like a mild, numb form of depression- and it SUCKS!! |
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#11
Mar 23, 2011, 06:53 AM
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Quote:
  Sugahorse
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Life is like a storm with millions of eyes. So deceptive.
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#12
Mar 23, 2011, 08:23 AM
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I am now SOoooooo angry, and I actually don't know how to express it. Arg...losing faith in people, empty promises and lies. I am sick of things.
When it rains, it pours. And my umbrella is getting worn through! Arrrrrggggg |
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#13
Mar 23, 2011, 10:12 AM
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Who treated you so badly (empty promises and lies...grrrr). Besides work I know.
Hope you are feeling less wobbly. HUGS
__________________
"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"  Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
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