[DaveyJones]

Let me tell you about the past few days...I have been working night shift (that's 9 pm - 7 am in my case) the past few weeks. I came home about 7:30 am Monday, got into bed and slept until almost 8 pm Monday night, which is unprecedented for me. I worked Monday night, went home at 7:30 and slept til about 12 noon...I had to get up for a court hearing at 2pm. I was home by 3:30 and slept for another 3 hours, got up and went to work Tuesdat night. I came home Wednesday morning, slept until 8 pm, and went back to sleep til about 5 am this morning (yes, I blew off work!) My mood has been moderately to severely depressed during this time, especially in the middle of the night when I'm working. I've been a total wreck the past few day, feeling very depressed and shaky. I don't know what to do...I can't call my pld pdoc as my insurance has lapsed (I don't have $294.00 an hour layin' around). I'm really scared about what's going to happen...

[Col303]

Hi DJ, I'm so sorry to hear about the way you have been feeling. I'm sure with working nights it has thrown your sleep cycle completely off. If you can't call you pdoc is there maybe a crisis center in your area that you could call just to talk with someone? That may help. Please keep posting so we can be a support to you. I'll be praying for you.

~colleen

[dexter]

First, I think trying to find a way to talk to your pdoc or T, or to find something you can afford, should be a priority. This is an ongoing illness that does need to be actively treated at times, and it sounds as if this is one of those times.

Classically, sleeping is not only a really bad symptom of depression, but it also worsens the depression. If you can find ways to stay out of bed past your regular 8 hours (or however many hours you normally sleep) it may help with the depression.

Also if you can have a visit with your primary doc to make sure the sleeping isn't due to something physical, like maybe you picked up a bug or something. If that turns out to be the case, you can treat that directly and hopefully feel better overall.

Also if you could talk to someone, maybe even contact a sleep clinic, to make sure it isn't just the shift changes that are causing the upset to your sleep patterns. Changing shifts can be rough on anyone's sleep habits (it is really unnatural) and maybe (and I'm just guessing) that combined with depression the effects are worse. As in the shift change disturbs your sleep, the disturbance in sleep triggers depression, and it runs into a bad cycle.

If that is the case you may need to find a way to cope better with the shift changes taking into account your depression.

Good luck!

[DaveyJones]

Thanks for the input, y'all. I haven't picked up a bug, and seeing my old PCP is out of the budget, too. My old pdoc is doing what she can, like loading me up with samples of my costly meds...and I'm saving up an emergency psycho fund so I can pay for a visit when I really need one. She wrote my boss a letter telling him no more nights, but here I am...I guess I'm going to have to quit--I'm not going back to the hospital for that job.

I have felt kind of agitated and not quite "real" the past few days, like I'm not quite attached to the world, if that makes any sense. It has really been pretty bad today. I have stayed awake, at least, but sometimes I have to lay down, take a Xanax and try to relax my way out of my nervousness. I feel really alone (hell, I AM really alone), no one calls except my ex when she wants me to watch the girls so she can go out with her buds...

The folks at NAMI here have a 'warm line" to call, and I probably will at some point...It's just hard to believe that after nearly 50 years on this earth that there is no one who cares enough about me to call up every now and then...but I guess I haven't made a lot of calls myself.

Thanks for caring, y'all (Yes, I'm a Southern Boy at heart). I'll be talking to you soon!

Peace,
DJ

[dexter]

I'm glad you have a pdoc that is helping. Keeping up with your meds is one of the most important things and also one of the most difficult when finances won't allow.

I agree that if you can find a new job that may help the problem a lot. A job is one of our highest priorities but it is not worth sacrificing our health. I hope you can find something new quickly, maybe it will be something that pays better and that you enjoy more. If you like this current job, also wondering if there is an easy way to enforce your doc's recommendation... I mean if you work somewhere that has chemicals you are allergic to, and your doc writes you a letter saying you have to stay out of the areas where that chemical is found, it must be a violation of OSHA or disability laws if the boss continues to force you to do that. As always though, rocking the boat may do more harm in "good will" than it is worth and you may end up wanting a new job anyway... but it might be worth checking.

>>It's just hard to believe that after nearly 50 years on this earth that there is no one who cares enough about me to call up every now and then...but I guess I haven't made a lot of calls myself.

This is something I constantly struggle with myself. Constantly. I also know that I withdraw and isolate myself... but it seems that even when I try and reach out, no one is there. I suppose that the urge to isolate is hard to break through... but if I am trying I would think that maybe someone who understands would at least try to meet me halfway.