fear??

hey all...I need to get this out. I recently had a very sudden and severe depressive episode with constant and intense thoughts of sui for which I was hospitalized for 8days. I got out march 30th and find myself struggling to get back into life. I know some of this is fear based as this is the worst episode since being diagnosed. is this typical after severe episode and hospitalization??

{{{Melissa}}}

Yes, what you are experiencing is not unusual after a hospitalization and severe episode. It always takes me some time to get used to being in the "outside world" after I've been in the hospital for a while.

Something else to consider, and something that was explained to me after a particularly difficult episode, is that you may be going through a bit of PTSD of sorts. When you are feeling sui**dal, your psyche recognizes that your life is in danger on some level, and you can actually experience it as a traumatic event.

If you are able to, try to take it easy for a while. Be gentle with yourself and try not to take on too much all at once. Give yourself some time - you'll get there.

I guess I will talk to my T about some of this adjustment difficulty. Also feel like my mind is trying to "make sense" of what happened or something like that. Its just been really rough and Im having a hard time accepting that its not happening faster.

It took time for me to adjust as well. It is traumatic. Give yourself time.

My T pushed me to pick something I would do everyday and waited in dead silence for me to pick something. She told me that it was called behavioral activation and that there was no point in my being there if I didn't pick something. So I picked to walk the dog to which she said I needed to do it twice a day. I'm really mad about this I really don't want to go back and see her next week. Another part of me knows she is probably right to do this as I have had a really hard time getting "out there" and it had been two weeks ago yesterday that I got out of the hospital. Sorry if you've read about this on another part of the forum.

Hi Melissa

How's the dog walking going??

Thinking about you ~ Dragonfly